No more trips to Hogwarts. No more will-they-or-won't-they for Ron and Hermione. No more theorizing if Snape is good or evil. Has the magic gone from your life?
Many Potter fans would say yes, that ever since the culmination of the series with the publication of last year's "Deathly Hallows," they've been in the throes of post-Potter depression — which a group of Pennsylvania-based researchers say shows that being a Potter fan is more serious than you might think. It can actually become an addiction.
In a just-finished study that's being submitted to the Journal of General Psychology, psych professor Dr. Jeffrey Rudski and two of his undergrad students at Muhlenberg College in Allentown, Pennsylvania, report that they found characteristics of addiction in at least 10 percent of the 4,000 Potter fans they polled online. For "Harry Potter and the End of the Line: Parallels with Addiction," they used craving scales that had been established for smoking, substituting "Deathly Hallows" for cigarettes. They surveyed fans before the book's release, upon completion of the book and six months afterwards as a follow-up. The 10 percent of respondents that Rudski considers addicted described spending more than four hours a day on Potter-related activities, experiencing interference with appetite and sleep patterns, engaging in less physical activity, having a lower sense of well-being and being more irritable after completing the series.
"Some readers can become so engaged in the series and the ancillary world that grew out of it that they report behaviors that truly fit definitions of addiction or dependence," the synopsis of his draft reads.
Granted, there are at least two more Potter movies (three if they split "Deathly Hallows") and a theme park to come, but for these participants, reaching the end of the story triggered a withdrawal, akin to quitting a drug cold turkey after having being hooked for years. "An addiction is an addiction is an addiction," Rudski said. "An addiction to a drug is no different than an addiction to Harry Potter or the Internet or pornography. Although it's not always a bad thing. There's a community that you get with Harry Potter that you don't get with heroin."
The threshold for addiction is even more blurry than the one for alcoholism — with alcohol, you note whether someone's drinking alone or more of a social drinker. But if the addiction involves a community, it's harder to draw the line between fandom and compulsion. "A lot of the addiction isn't even to the series itself," Rudski said. "The series is over. The addiction is to everything that goes along with it, the ancillary world." So while he only characterizes 10 percent of participants as being addicted, there was an additional 20 percent who gave him cause for concern, reaching what he called "a critical threshold."
That would likely include participants who wrote things like "I want Rowling to know that I hate her ... because I have nothing to live for now," "I feel like someone close to me has died" and "I had trouble getting out of bed Monday morning. I was depressed and had nightmares all night long. I dreamed I was being attacked by Lucius Malfoy and Fenrir Greyback and didn't have a wand because I was Muggle-born."
Rudski, who teaches courses in psychopharmacology and learning theory, originally wanted to make a study about addictions to popular culture when he saw people "walking around in a daze" following the O.J. Simpson verdict. "I thought, 'These people are addicted to the trial! And now they're going through withdrawal,' " he said. "And I thought, if I ever have an opportunity to look at this phenomenon, I'm going to study it."
It was a toss-up for him between studying people's reaction to the end of "The Sopranos" and the end of Harry Potter, but ultimately, Rudski chose the boy wizard because his 15-year-old daughter is a fan — well, he calls her an addict but says her addiction has positive outlets. "She's picked up guitar because she wants to be in a wizard-rock band," he said. "She's studying Latin because she wants to better understand J.K. Rowling's choices of names for her characters. She started reading Stephen King and John Irving because they spoke with Rowling at Radio City two summers ago." If that's being an addict, he's down with it.
Likewise, Rudski's subjects didn't all turn their addictions into negative forces, but he found that those who were the most creative with their fandom showed the least disruption to their personal lives, addicted or not. For instance, those he calls the "core" fans, who read the books and liked to theorize, had the greatest amount of withdrawal symptoms. Online community fans, however, showed more of an intermediate level of withdrawal after reading the last book, but six months afterwards, still reported continued disruption (as opposed to core fans, who moved on). And for those who turned Harry Potter into a creative outlet — either through fan fiction, fan art or wizard rock — didn't show hardly any withdrawal symptoms at all, though they continued to spend just as much time engaged in those activities as they did before. What does that tell us? "It's more like a caffeine addiction," Rudski said. "The withdrawal can be over, but the addiction is still there."
Note that this post contains spoilers.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: the review by 12 Grimmauld Place.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows begins as a few days before Harry's protection from his mother breaks. After saying goodbye to the Dursleys, the Order of the Phoenix take Harry to Tonk's parent's house, to then take a portkey to the Burrow, which is the new headquarters since 12 Grimmauld Place technically belongs to Bellatrix Lestrange since she's the last remaining Black, even though it's Harry's according to Sirius's will. Eventually everybody arrives there, and Mad-Eye Moody meets his fate, and sadly, so does Harry's faithful companion, Hedwig.
When they arrive there, everyone prepares for the wedding of Bill and Fleur. During the wedding, Kingsley's patronus tells them that the Death Eaters have imperioused the Ministry of Magic, and that they're on their way to the wedding. Harry, Ron and Hermione go to 12 Grimmauld Place, and they stay there for a while, since it's not being used at the moment, and they cannot return to the Burrow because it's being watched by the Imperioused Ministry, especially since now Harry is wanted by the Ministry. They find out that R.A.B. is indeed, Regulas Black. (Arcturus was his middle name). They also discover that Mundungous Fletcher has stolen and sold the locket, to Dolores Jane Umbridge. They go into the Ministry, disguised, and retrieve the real locket.
Soon though, the trio go and hunt for the other horcruxes (Harry and his friends don't go back to Hogwarts). They are on the run every day, so that nothing can find them, and Ron leaves Harry and Hermione out of frustration, and then comes back. They go to Godric's Hollow, and visit the graves of Harry's parents on Christmas Eve. They realize that in order to destroy the horcruxes, they need Godric Gryffindor's sword, but there is currently a false one in Dumbledore's office. So they need to find the sword, and they find it eventually, and they destroy the locket. On the run, they are captured by the Death Eaters at the Malfoy Manor, but they escape. Then they find out about the relic of Ravenclaw, which is probably in Hogwarts, and the Deathly Hallows.
The Deathly Hallows are three items that are supposed to help you defeat Death. They are the Elder Wand--which is a superior wand, the Resurrection Stone--which brings people back from the dead, and the Invisibility Cloak--which is in perfect condition. Harry realizes that he must be the rightful owner of all the Deathly Hallows, because he has the perfect Invisibility Cloak, and the reason that Dumbledore had it the night the Potters died was because Dumbledore was examining it to be one of the Deathly Hallows; he had the resurrection stone, which was Marvolo's ring, and he just needed to find the Elder Wand, which unfortunatly Voldemort finds first.
As there is a new biography written about Dumbledore by Rita Skeeter (oh gosh), there are many rumors about Dumbledore flying around, some that he was engaged in the Dark Arts, others that his sister was a squib. Now Harry doesn't know what to belive, and feels some anger toward Dumbledore because they had always talked about Harry, but never about Dumbledore, and Harry really never knew anything about him.
The last 120 pages or so are the battle at Hogwarts--finding and destroying Ravenclaw's horcrux, more deaths. Harry realizes that he's got to die because he's a horcrux, and that there were worse things than death, and more terrible fates, one of which I cried about. And then there's the final, final showdown between Harry and Voldemort, where Harry had died but then came back to life, and Voldemort, as R.A.B. had hoped for, had met his final match, being mortal once more.
The final installment of the Harry Potter series is by far, the darkest of them all. Harry realizes that there's more to successfully getting through Hogwarts, and he learns about survival. The many fates and discoveries that the characters meet only add to the dramatic plot. Personally, I thought it was fantastic, and a great way to end the books. Fans, like myself, find out if their theories are true or false, which is of course, very good to know; for example, you do find out if Snape is good, and you do find out if Snape loved Lily. The only questions it did not really answer was the signifigance of Harry's eyes, Harry's parents jobs, and the correspondance between Dumbledore and Petunia Dursley. But I thought that everything else was answered, so when you read the last page of the book, you are satisfied, and glad that you read it. I would give it 4.5/5 stars.
-- Book sales (Nielsen BookScan) - Since 1998, when Nielsen began
measuring book sales in the United Kingdom, the six Harry Potter books
have sold more than 22.5 million copies in the UK alone. In the United
States, the Harry Potter titles published after 2001 have sold more
than 27.7 million copies.
-- Box Office sales (Nielsen EDI) - Combined, the first four Harry Potter
films have grossed more than $3.5 billion worldwide. The first film,
"Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone," is the fourth all-time highest
grossing film worldwide.
-- Advertising (Nielsen Monitor-Plus) - In the U.S., ad spend for all
Harry Potter branded merchandise (including books, movies, DVDs and
other promotional products) totals $269.1 million from 1998 to date.
Outside of the U.S. from 2000 to date, $119.3 million was spent on
total advertising for all Harry Potter branded merchandise in Canada,
Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Switzerland, and the
U.K.
-- DVD/Video sales (Nielsen VideoScan) -All three Harry Potter DVDs/Videos
- Sorcerer's Stone, Chamber of Secrets, and Prisoner of Azkaban -
debuted at #1 and remained the #1 family film for the first 3 weeks of
each release.
-- Internet Traffic (Nielsen//NetRatings) - The Warner Bros. "Harry Potter
Order of the Phoenix" Web site drew 446,762 unique visitors in May
2007.
-- Internet Buzz (Nielsen BuzzMetrics) - On blogs, the final book "Harry
Potter and the Deathly Hallows," is generating more "buzz" than the
latest movie installment, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."
-- Music sales (Nielsen SoundScan) - The four Harry Potter soundtracks
combined have sold more than 1.1 million copies in the U.S. and almost
100,000 copies in Canada since the initial release back in October
2001. There have been a total of 180,000 downloads of individual songs
that tied to the four Harry Potter soundtracks.
-- TV ratings (Nielsen Media Research) - Since 2002, the Harry Potter
movies have aired on U.S. television a total of 366 times.
-- Moviegoer Profile (Nielsen Cinema) - A recent survey of moviegoers
shows 51% of persons age 12+ are aware that the new book is coming out
next month. Twenty-eight percent of persons 12+ in the U.S. have read
one or more of the previous Harry Potter books, and 15% have read all
of the Harry Potter books-to-date.
-- Consumer (ACNielsen) - More than $11.8 million has been spent by U.S.
consumers on Harry Potter-licensed trademark cookies, candy and gum
products since June 2002.
Books (Nielsen BookScan)
In the United Kingdom alone, more than 22.5 million copies of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter books have walked off the shelves since 1998, when Nielsen BookScan began measuring books sales in the UK and six of the top ten best-selling books during this period have been Harry Potter books. In the United States, the Harry Potter titles published after 2001, the first year of the U.S. Nielsen BookScan panel, have sold more than 27.7 million copies. During that period, three of the top ten best-selling books in the U.S. have been Harry Potter books.
In all territories where Nielsen BookScan monitors book sales data, peak sales of Harry Potter titles consistently coincide with launch of the new hardback editions and continue to break records. In 2005, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince jumped out of the starting gate with 1.87 million copies sold in the first day in the UK and 4.1 million copies sold the first day in the U.S. (both countries include pre-orders). Similarly, nearly 1.7 million copies of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix were sold on its 2003 release date in the UK, accounting for nearly 50% of the book's total first year sales in that country.
The greatest peak in sales of Harry Potter books took place in 2003, when sales in the UK accounted for fully 22% of the Children's market for the year, while sales in Australia took 19% of the Children's market and generated Aus$30.5 million in revenue for the year. This trend was largely due to the long delay in the release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. This was also the first new title to be released following the launch of the first Harry Potter film in November 2001, which helped catalyze a large increase in sales of the backlist titles as people caught up with the series.
The second largest sales peak for Harry Potter titles was in 2005, except in Ireland (ROI) and China, where 2005 sales surpassed 2003 sales as news of Harry Potter spread across the globe.
2006 saw a slowdown in sales, with the annual sales of Harry Potter titles being at their lowest since 1999 in the UK. This trend is indicative of people waiting for the launch of the final hardback edition later this month.
Audio titles of the Harry Potter series were also very popular, with total
sales of more than 1.34 million audio copies in the U.S. (818,000) and the UK
(525,000) to date. In the UK, audio releases of Harry Potter and Sorcerer's
Stone have sold the most volume to date (128,280 units). Since 2001, Harry
Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (452,000 units) and Harry Potter and the
Half-Blood Prince (349,000 units) are the best-selling audio books in the
U.S..
Total Sales of Harry Potter Books by Country
Country Volume Sales
UK 22,547,594
U.S. (since 2001) 27,676,957 **
Australia 4,584,576
Ireland 327,435
South Africa 151,798
China 2,005,660
Source: Nielsen BookScan's Retail Panels; Chinese data supplied by
OpenBook
NOTE: 2007 data comprises of 23 weeks sales up to 16th June
** U.S. Data includes sales occurring from 1/1/2001 through 6/16/07
and ONLY includes books published after 1/1/2001. U.S. Data
includes English version of titles only.
Top Selling Books in the U.S. Since 2001
Sales
Rank Publish Since
Title Author Date Format 1/1/2001
1 The Da
Vinci Code BROWN, DAN 3/1/2003 Hardcover 8,504,466
2 Harry Potter
and the Order
of the Phoenix ROWLING, J.K. 6/1/2003 Hardcover 8,434,516
3 Harry Potter
and the
Half Blood
Prince ROWLING, J. K. 7/1/2005 Hardcover 7,194,873
4 The South
Beach Diet AGATSTON, ARTHUR 1/1/2003 Hardcover 5,167,516
5 The Purpose
Driven Life WARREN, RICK 10/1/2002 Hardcover 4,911,202
6 The Five
People You
Meet in
Heaven ALBOM, MITCH 1/1/2003 Hardcover 4,348,131
7 Angels &
Demons BROWN, DAN 7/1/2001 MM 4,333,277
Paperback
8 Harry Potter
and the
Prisoner
of Azkaban ROWLING, J. K. 9/1/2001 Trade 3,396,770
Paperback
9 The Secret
Life of
Bees KIDD, SUE MONK 1/1/2003 Trade 3,313,701
Paperback
10 The Kite HOSSEINI,
Runner KHALED 1/1/2003 Trade 3,016,249
Paperback
Source: Nielsen BookScan
Top Selling Books in the UK Since 1998
Rank Title Author Publish Format Sales Since
Date 1 Jan 1998
1 The Da Brown, Dan 1 Mar Paperback 4,470,081
Vinci Code 2004
2 Harry Potter
and the
Order
of the
Phoenix Rowling, J.K. 21 Jun Hardback 3,037,324
2003
3 Harry Potter
and the Half-
Blood Prince:
Children's
Edition Rowling, J.K. 16 Jul Hardback 2,931,880
2005
4 Harry Potter
and the
Philosopher's
Stone Rowling, J.K. 26 Jun Paperback 2,832,067
1997
5 Angels and Brown, Dan 1 Jul Paperback 2,716,114
Demons 2003
6 Harry Potter
and the
Chamber of
Secrets Rowling, J.K. 28 May Paperback 2,692,745
1999
7 Harry Potter
and the
Prisoner of
Azkaban Rowling, J.K. 1 Apr 2000 Paperback 2,460,352
8 Harry Potter
and the
Goblet of Fire Rowling, J.K. 6 Jul 2001 Paperback 1,951,794
9 Deception Brown, Dan 1 May Paperback 1,813,010
Point 2004
10 Digital Brown, Dan 5 Jul Paperback 1,724,201
Fortress 2004
Source: Nielsen BookScan
Film (Nielsen EDI)
Combined, the first four Harry Potter films have grossed more than $3.5 billion worldwide. The first film, "Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone," grossed more than $974.7 million worldwide at the box office, ranking it number four on the worldwide all-time highest grossing films. In its first week of release the film grossed more than $129.4 million in the U.S. and Canada. The second film, "Harry Potter and Chamber of Secrets," grossed more than $878.6 million worldwide and $106.1 million for its opening week in the U.S and Canada.
Worldwide Box Office Sales - All Time Highest Grossing Films
Rank U.S. Film Worldwide
Premiere Box Office
1 12/19/1997 Titanic $1,850,788,188
2 12/17/2003 The Lord of the Rings:
The Return of the King $1,118,891,257
3 7/7/2006 Pirates of the Caribbean:
Dead Man's Chest $1,062,821,812
4 11/16/2001 Harry Potter and the
Sorcerer's Stone $974,751,219
5 12/18/2002 The Lord of the Rings:
The Two Towers $925,012,866
6 5/19/1999 Star Wars: Episode I: The
Phantom Menace $923,179,709
7 6/11/1993 Jurassic Park $920,067,947
8 5/19/2004 Shrek 2 $915,121,703
9 11/18/2005 Harry Potter and the
Goblet of Fire $892,211,651
10 11/15/2002 Harry Potter and the
Chamber of Secrets $878,635,209
11 5/4/2007 Spider-Man 3 $876,342,300
12 12/19/2001 The Lord of the Rings:
The Fellowship of the Ring $870,175,011
13 5/30/2003 Finding Nemo $865,714,978
14 5/19/2005 Star Wars: Episode III:
Revenge of the Sith $849,997,605
15 5/25/2007 Pirates of the Caribbean: At $836,381,716
16 5/3/2002 Spider-Man $821,606,375
17 7/3/1996 Independence Day $817,169,255
18 5/25/1977 Star Wars $797,998,007
19 6/4/2004 Harry Potter and the
Prisoner of Azkaban $793,049,239
20 6/11/1982 E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial $792,974,579
Source: Nielsen EDI
Note: Box Office sales converted to U.S. Dollars, Sales through 6/24/2007
Advertising for Harry Potter (Nielsen Monitor-Plus)
In the U.S., ad spending for all Harry Potter branded merchandise (including books, movies, DVDs and other promotional products) totaled $269.2 million for 1998 to date. Outside of the U.S., from 2000 to date, $119.3 million was spent on total advertising for all Harry Potter branded merchandise in the following 8 countries -- Canada, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Switzerland, and the U.K.
Since 2000, international advertisers have spent $659,019 promoting the Harry Potter books (print books and audio books), with the bulk of the ad dollars going towards audio books ($543,412). The top spending category outside the U.S. has been theatrical releases ($57.3 million). Ad spending for Harry Potter among DVD/Video releases came in second at $31.9 million. Advertisers for video games spent $11.8 million and toys/games spent almost $11.6 million, while advertising for Harry Potter magazines reached $3.8 million.
Book Advertising in U.S. - Since 1998, when Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone first appeared in the U.S., the publisher has spent a total of $344,787 to promote the book. That amount is a long way off from the advertising peak for the fifth book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which since 2002 has totaled $942,049. Additionally, $184,700 was spent in 2001 to advertise Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them and Quidditch Through the Ages, two books published by J.K. Rowling and Scholastic, whose proceeds benefit needy children. In total, $3.6 million in the U.S. has been spent to date for the Harry Potter books (1-7), Harry Potter Fantasy Beast/Quidditch books and the Harry Potter Deluxe Box Sets, with the majority of the ad spend going towards the first seven books ($2.8 million).
Advertising Spent on Harry Potter Books
in the U.S. 1997-2007
Total U.S.
Ad Spend by
Books 1-7 Book
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone $344,787
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets $159,888
Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban $186,841
Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire $503,754
Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix $942,049
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince $454,873
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows $144,809
Total $2,737,001
Other Harry Potter Titles
Harry Potter Fantasy Beast/Quidditch Books $184,690
Harry Potter Deluxe Box Sets $555,762
Source: Nielsen Monitor-Plus
Box Office Advertising in U.S. -- More than $142.6 million has been spent to advertise the first four Harry Potter theatrical releases. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, the second move in the series, has spent the most at $40 million. Each of the other movies spent between $31 and $36 million in total on advertising.
Advertising Spent on Harry Potter Motion Pictures
in the U.S. 2001-2007
Motion Picture Total U.S. Ad
Spend by Movie
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone $36,973,254
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets $40,050,184
Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban $33,678,800
Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire $31,970,768
Total $142,673,006
Source: Nielsen Monitor-Plus
DVD/Video Advertising in the U.S. -- $68.5 million was spent on advertising for the Harry Potter DVD/Videos. The first movie release, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, spent the most on advertising, $22.5 million. The budgets for the subsequent DVD/Video releases were reduced, each spending between $14.5 and $15.9 million.
Advertising Spent on Harry Potter DVDs/Videos
in the U.S. 2001-2007
Total U.S.
Ad Spend
DVD/Video by Video
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone $22,584,483
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets $15,925,370
Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban $15,424,089
Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire $14,566,663
Total $68,500,605
Source: Nielsen Monitor-Plus
Cross Promotion in the U.S. -- The Harry Potter brand has partnered with products as diverse as bubble bath to electronic games to cross-promote and sell more merchandise. In total, $54 million was spent promoting Harry Potter products excluding the core businesses of books and movies over the last seven years. EA Games Harry Potter & Goblet of Fire Entertainment Software spent the most reaching more than $4.5 million. Other notable promotions include: EA Games Entertainment Software Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup ($3.2 million), Mead Harry Potter School Supplies ($3.1 million), EA Entertainment Software Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone ($2.3 million), and Harry Potter & Chamber Of Secrets Playsets Polyjuice Potion Maker ($2.0 million).
Internet Traffic (Nielsen//NetRatings)
The Warner Bros. Web site, "Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix," drew 446,762 unique visitors in May 2007. Social media and reference sites related to the movie attracted a unique audience of 705,487, more than 1.5 times the Web traffic to the official Harry Potter sites. However, average visitor time spent at the Warner Bros. site in May was more than seven minutes, compared to under 2.5 minutes at the official site.
Internet Buzz (Nielsen BuzzMetrics)
Over the last six months, the final book, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," has generated more buzz than the latest movie installment, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". After the release of the Order of the Phoenix movie trailer in late April, buzz about the movie briefly surpassed buzz about the final book.
Bloggers reacted to the announcements of the final book and book cover design, generating a sharp increase in posts and discussions in January and March 2007.
Fake scans of the movie's ending sparked interest among bloggers and buzz about the final book and latest movie increased in tandem in June 2007.
Music Sales (Nielsen SoundScan)
Since 2001 there have been four Harry Potter soundtracks coinciding with the four movie releases. These soundtracks have sold over 1.1 million copies in the U.S. and almost 100,000 copies in Canada.
The biggest selling Harry Potter soundtrack by far was the first: "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." Since its release in October of 2001, this Potter soundtrack has sold 619,000 copies in the U.S. Soundtrack sales for the additional Harry Potter movies declined with each release. "The Chamber of Secrets," based off the second movie in the series, has sold roughly 210,000 copies since its release in November 2002. The other two soundtracks; "Prisoner of Azkaban" and "The Goblet of Fire," have respectively sold 180,000 and 135,000 copies in the U.S.
There have been a total of 180,000 downloads of individual songs from the four Harry Potter soundtracks since 2003, when Nielsen SoundScan began measuring digital music sales. At 65,000 digital track sales, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" has been the most popular soundtrack.
DVD/Video sales (Nielsen VideoScan)
According to Nielsen VideoScan, all three Harry Potter DVDs/videos - Sorcerer's Stone, Chamber of Secrets, and Prisoner of Azkaban - debuted at #1 and remained the #1 family film for the first 3 weeks of each release. "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" (Warner Home Video, released 11/23/04) was the #1 selling family video, and #4 video regardless of category, in all of 2004. "Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets" (Warner Home Video, released 4/11/03) was the #4 selling video in 2003 and the #3 family video in 2003. "Harry Potter And The Sorcerers Stone" (Warner Home Video, released 5/28/02) was the #3 selling video in 2002 and was the #2 family video in 2002.
TV ratings (Nielsen Media Research)
The Harry Potter movies have been telecast on U.S. television a total of 366 times since 2002 on four cable networks (Disney, ABC Family, Cinemax and HBO) and one broadcast network (ABC). In 2007, two Harry Potter movies aired on the Disney Channel, averaging approximately 2.8 million viewers. The last broadcast network (ABC) to carry a Harry Potter movie was "Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone" on 4/21/07, with approximately 4.2 million U.S. viewers.
Most Viewed Harry Potter Movies on U.S. Television
Network Air Movie Viewers
Date 2+
ABC 5/9/2004 H. POTTER AND SORCERER'S STONE - Movie 1 11,080,000
ABC 11/19/2005 H. POTTER AND CHAMBER-SECRETS - Movie 2 7,760,000
ABC 5/7/2005 H. POTTER AND CHAMBER-SECRETS - Movie 2 7,500,000
ABC 5/15/2004 H. POTTER AND SORCERER'S STONE - Movie 1 6,854,000
HBO 11/16/2002 H. POTTER AND SORCERERS STONE - Movie 1 6,649,000
ABC 10/28/2006 H. POTTER & THE PRISONER
OF AZKABAN - Movie 3 6,075,000
ABC 4/30/2005 H. POTTER AND SORCERER'S STONE - Movie 1 5,650,000
Source: Nielsen Media Research U.S.
Moviegoer Profile (Nielsen Cinema) --
Findings from a recent Nielsen Cinema survey show 51% of persons age 12+ in the U.S. are aware that the new book is coming out next month. Twenty- eight percent of persons 12+ in the U.S. have read one or more of the previous Harry Potter books, and 15% have read all six previous Harry Potter books.
More than half (53%) of the people who have read at least one of the Harry Potter books indicated they plan on reading "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," with nearly 40% planning to read it as soon as it is released.
While the Harry Potter books are wildly popular in the U.S., the movies are even more so. More than one quarter of Americans 12+ claim to have seen all of the previous Harry Potter movies. In the U.S., the box office audience for the last two Harry Potter movies - Prisoner of Azkaban and The Goblet of Fire - is made up primarily of children and teens. While not quite a majority, over 40% of the box office audience for the last two movies is 2-17 years old, with girls making up just over 50%. Other findings from Nielsen Cinema include:
-- 59% of persons age 12 and older are aware that the fifth movie in the
series, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," is coming out this
month.
-- 57% of persons 12+ have seen one or more of the previous Harry Potter
movies.
Consumer Package Good Sales (ACNielsen) -- According to data from consumer research company ACNielsen, more than $11.8 million has been spent by U.S. consumers on Harry Potter-licensed trademark cookies, candy and gum products since June 2002.
Sales of Harry Potter-Licensed Trademark Cookies, Candy, Gum
52 Weeks
Ending June Total Sales
2006-07 $745,411
2005-06 $2,661,520
2004-05 $2,222,275
2003-04 $2,052,446
2002-03 $4,098,185
Total $11,779,837
Source: ACNielsen; Total U.S. Food, Drug and Mass Merchandiser Stores
(excluding Wal-Mart); 52 weeks ending in June of each year
ACNielsen data also shows that sales for Harry Potter-licensed cookies, candy and gum products peak the week a Harry Potter movie or book launches, showing almost $900,000 in sales for Harry Potter-licensed goods the week of the 11/5/02 movie premiere of "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" and $650,000 in sales the week of the 11/18/05 movie premiere of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire".
Candy products licensed from the Harry Potter series can be a little unconventional. Some favorites include: Cockroach Clusters, Jelly Slugs, Ice Mice, Chocolate Frogs, Fizzing Whizbees, and of course Bertie Bott's Jelly Beans, including ear wax and dirt flavors."
--http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/070710/nytu070.html?.v=98
Joy Viceroy, 16, aboard the Harry Potter Knight Bus, hates spoilers.
They have waited two long years, and now they have only 24 days to go. As the diehard fans of Harry Potter count the minutes until they can get their hands on “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” the seventh and final installment in the monumentally successful series by J. K. Rowling, they are engaging in a frenzy of speculation and rumor-mongering about what will happen to their beloved characters.
Predictions are flying across the Web and out of bookstores, where titles like “Mugglenet.com’s What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7,” “The End of Harry Potter?” and “The Great Snape Debate” spew theories about who will die, who will get together with whom, and who is really good or evil.
At the same time, with little more than three weeks to go before “Deathly Hallows” goes on sale at 12:01 a.m. on July 21, some people claiming to have actual knowledge of the book’s plot are posting ostensible spoilers online. At one site, for instance, what appears to be a page from a manuscript appears, showing one paragraph outlined in red, suggesting that one of the most morally enigmatic characters in the series dies in the final book, with a few bars from the chorus of “Tarzan Boy” by Baltimora playing on an endless loop in the background.
And just last week, a self-proclaimed hacker calling himself Gabriel said he had broken into the computers of Bloomsbury, the series’s British publisher, and discovered the identities of two characters killed at the end of the book, though the claim was widely discounted.
While fans take endless delight in spinning their own theories, bringing Talmudic fervor to the analysis of clues dropped throughout the previous books and in interviews with Ms. Rowling, they tend to oppose spoilers violently.
At The Leaky Cauldron (leakynews.com), the site’s hosts have posted a policy on spoilers: “DON’T DO IT.”
“We just don’t want someone taking what J. K. Rowling has earned away from her, which is the right to tell us where these mysteries end,” said Melissa Anelli, the Leaky Cauldron’s Webmaster, in a telephone interview. “She’s worked really hard for 17 years on this series, and it’s about time she reaps the satisfaction of bringing the culmination of her story to the fans herself.”
In a posting dated May 14 on Ms. Rowling’s own Web site, jkrowling.com, the author thanks Ms. Anelli for The Leaky Cauldron’s spoiler policy, and added her own plea: “I want the readers who have, in many instances, grown up with Harry, to embark on the last adventure they will share with him without knowing where they are going,” she wrote.
Attempts to spoil the ending are not new, of course. Four years ago, before the publication of “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,” the fifth book in the series, The Daily News bought a copy of the book at a Brooklyn health food store four days before publication and ran a graphic image showing two pages of the book. Ms. Rowling sued The Daily News for $100 million, and the suit was settled out of court.
Hosts of MuggleNet.com, another of the biggest Potter fan sites, learned about the death of Sirius Black, Harry’s godfather, a few weeks before “Order of the Phoenix” was published, when someone sent in some scanned pages pilfered from a manuscript. And before “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” the sixth book in the series, was published two years ago, someone reportedly working on a Malaysian military base e-mailed a summary, the first page of every chapter and the whole final chapter to The Leaky Cauldron, revealing that Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts, the boarding school where Harry and his friends train in wizardry, dies at the end of the book.
“There are usually a few people who get their hands on a book and get some rush in spoiling the details for us,” said Emerson Spartz, MuggleNet’s founder and Web master. “They get some sick satisfaction that they’re sticking it to the man.”
At least one cynical fan sees the current crop of spoilers as a ruse by the publishers to increase sales.
“I think it was a ploy by someone inside to get more hype about the book and get more money off of it,” Joy Viceroy, 16, said of last week’s Gabriel incident. Ms. Viceroy, an avid fan of the series who has read each book multiple times, was waiting in line on Saturday at a public library branch near Cleveland to board the Harry Potter Knight Bus, a purple triple-decker brought in by Scholastic, Ms. Rowling’s United States publisher, to stoke up prepublication fervor.
Just in case, Ms. Viceroy didn’t look at the hacker’s posting. “It might be wrong, but I hate spoilers,” she said.
Still, like many other fans, Ms. Viceroy has her theories. “I think Harry is going to live,” she said.
In that she is joined by the hosts of MuggleNet, whose book, “What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7” has spent 19 weeks on the New York Times Paperback Children’s Best Seller list. “We’re absolutely convinced that Harry Potter is not going to die,” said Mr. Spartz, who founded the site when he was 12. (He’s now 20 and will be a junior at the University of Notre Dame in the fall.)
Bookmakers in Britain, meanwhile, stopped taking bets on Harry’s fate earlier this month because too many people were betting that the boy wizard would die in the seventh book.
“I think that it’s an innate human need to be curious about what’s going to happen,” Mr. Spartz said.
Scholastic and Bloomsbury have taken elaborate security steps with booksellers, libraries and distributors to ensure that leaks that have happened in the past don’t occur this time. As for predictions, said Lisa Holton, president of Scholastic’s trade and book fairs division, “everyone is entitled to their theory. It’s part of the fun.”
The predictions can be found everywhere, from the fan sites and chat boards to political and academic blogs. The intensity of thought is evident, with predictions based on minute details gleaned from close readings of the texts.
Dave Kopel, research director of the Independence Institute, a libertarian research group based in Golden, Colo., has posted a 16-page thesis titled “Severus Snape: The Unlikely Hero of Harry Potter Book 7,” in which he predicts that Professor Snape, whose allegiances have been the subject of fierce debate, will sacrifice himself to destroy Lord Voldemort, the unequivocal villain of the series.
In a posting filled with quotations and page references, Mr. Kopel outlines his case. “That’s part of Rowling’s genius — there are a lot of clues hidden in plain sight,” he said in a telephone interview. “But it’s hard to tell which ones are that and which ones are just detractors.”
John Granger, a professor of Latin and English at the Valley Forge Military Academy & College in Wayne, Pa., has written two books about the series and edited a third called “Who Killed Albus Dumbledore” that is filled with predictions.
He also runs a discussion group at HogwartsProfessor.com. “I’ve seen really intelligent, really literate women and men discuss these points and provide more than cogent arguments that Snape is X, Y or Z, and they all make sense in terms of all the clues she’s given in the book,” Mr. Granger said. “This has probably been the most fun that intelligent people can have with their clothes on in the 21st century.”'
In latin, Sevrus means servent. That's probably the root work of "Severus". Now we know that we will find out where Snape's loyalties lie in the end- if Snape's really good or not. So in a way, we're going to find out in the end where Severus is a servus to.
I know it sounds like a theory, but in the skeem of things, it's really not. Whatever.
P.S. You're not going to understand a thing about the veil if you haven't read Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix 


Deciding I wasn't as familiar with the term "Hallows" as I could be, I decided to look it up at "dictionary.com". Here are the results that came up:
"
| 1. | to make holy; sanctify; consecrate. |
| 2. | to honor as holy; consider sacred; venerate: to hallow a battlefield. |
to render sacred, to consecrate (Ex. 28:38; 29:1). This word is from the Saxon, and properly means "to make holy." The name of God is "hallowed", i.e., is reverenced as holy (Matt. 6:9).
| Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary |
Each year at Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat sorts the first years into Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Before the yearly ceromony takes place, the Sorting Hat sings a new song, each one different and unique from the year before. They also have messages- most recently that all the houses should stick together as a group and as a school. But they could also have some implications for the plot. Make your own choice about their meanings. Here are the songs:
Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone
| Oh, you may not think I'm pretty, But don't judge on what you see, I'll eat myself if you can find A smarter hat than me. You can keep your bowlers black, Your top hats sleek and tall, For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat And I can top them all. There's nothing hidden in your head The Sorting Hat can't see, So try me on and I will tell you Where you ought to be. You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart; You might belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffs are true And unafraid of toil; Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, If you've a steady mind, Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind; Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends, Those cunning folk use any means To achieve their ends. So put me on! Don't be afraid! And don't get in a flap! You're in safe hands (though I have none) For I'm a Thinking Cap! |
| Harry wasn't the only one to miss the sorting in Chamber of Secrets. He and Ron flew the Weasleys' car to Hogwarts after Dobby had sealed the gateway to Platform 9 3/4, then crashed it into the Whomping Willow that sits on the school grounds. Lucky for the both of them, Professor McGonagall didn't find it necessary to expell them! |
| Harry missed the sorting his third year because a dementor had crawled into the trio's compartment on the Hogwarts Express, and the very presence of the dementor made Harry pass out. Harry was taken to the hospital wing once the train reached Hogwarts. |
| A thousand years or more ago, When I was newly sewn, There lived four wizards of renown, Whose names are still well known: Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor, Fair Ravenclaw, from glen, Sweet Hufflepuff, from valley broad, Shrewd Slytherin, from fen. They shared a wish, a hope, a dream, They hatched a daring plan To educate young sorcerers Thus Hogwarts School began. Now each of these four founders Formed their own house, for each Did value different virtues In the ones they had to teach. By Gryffindor, the bravest were Prized far beyond the rest; For Ravenclaw, the cleverest Would always be the best; For Hufflepuff, hard workers were Most worthy of admission; And power-hungry Slytherin Loved those of great ambition. While still alive they did divide Their favourites from the throng, Yet how to pick the worthy ones When they were dead and gone? 'Twas Gryffindor who found the way, He whipped me off his head The founders put some brains in me So I could choose instead! Now slip me snug about your ears, I've never yet been wrong, I'll have a look inside your mind And tell where you belong! |
| In times of old when I was new And Hogwarts barely started The Founders of our noble school Thought never to be parted: nited by a common goal, They had the selfsame yearning To make the world's best magic school And pass along their learning. "Together we will build and teach!" The Four good friends decided And never did they dream that they Might someday be divided, For were there such friends anywhere As Slytherin and Gryffindor? Unless it was the second pair Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw? So how could it have gone so wrong? How could such friendships fail? Why, I was there and so can tell The whole sad, sorry tale. Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those Whose ancestry is purest." Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose Intelligence is surest." Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those With brave deeds to their name," Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot, And treat them just the same." These differences caused little strife When first they came to light, For each of the four founders had A House in which they might Take only those they wanted, so, For instance, Slytherin Took only pure-blood wizards Of great cunning, just like him, And only those of sharpest mind Were taught by Ravenclaw While the bravest and the boldest Went to daring Gryffindor, Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest, And taught them all she knew, Thus the Houses and their founders Retained friendships firm and true. So Hogwarts worked in harmony For several happy years, But the discord crept among us Feeding on our faults and fears. The Houses that, like pillars four, Had once held up our school, Now turned upon each other and, Divided, sought to rule. And for a while it seemed the school Must meet an early end, What with dueling and with fighting And the clash of friend on friend And at last there came a morning When old Slytherin departed And though the fighting then died out He left us quite downhearted. And never since the founders four Were whittled down to three Have the Houses been united And they once were meant to be. And now the Sorting Hat is here And you all know the score: I sort you into Houses Because that is what I'm for, But this year I'll go further, Listen closely to my song: Though condemned I am to split you Still I worry that it's wrong, Though I must fulfill my duty And must quarter every year Still I wonder whether sorting May not bring the end I fear. Oh, know the perils, read the signs, The warning history shows, For our Hogwarts is in danger From external, deadly foes And we must unite inside her Or we'll crumble from within I have told you, I have warned you.. Let the sorting now begin |
| After Harry's meeting with the "Slug Club" on the train towards Hogwarts, Harry decided to follow Slytherin Blaise Zabini as he entered into a Slytherin compartment containing Malfoy. However, when done 'spying' on him, Malfoy cast the body-binding spell and Harry couldn't move a muscle, especially after Malfoy completely stomped all over his face. However, Tonks came to the train and healed Harry, but he arrived late, and missed the Sorting Ceremony. |
Anagrams like these might very important for Harry Potter, because they can be clues about what will happen in B7. Here are some anagrams that have been brought to attention:
source: www.mugglenet.com
Keep Investigating...
Book 1: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone
"
"Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, once..."
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-"
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"So light a fire!" Harry choked.
"Yes...of course...but there's no wood!" Hermione cried, wringing her hands.
"HAVE YOU GONE MAD!" Ron bellowed. "ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!
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Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.
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Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small watery blue eyes, and thick blonde hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel. Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.
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Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-"
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-"
"Jordan, I'm warning you-"
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."
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"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," [Dudley] told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"
"No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick."
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"You haven't got a letter on yours", George observed. "I suppose she [Mrs.Weasley] thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."
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"Sir — Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask you something?"
"Obviously, you’ve just done so," Dumbledore smiled. “You may ask me one more thing, however."
"What do you see when you look in the mirror?"
"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."
Harry stared.
"One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."
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"Fred, you next," the plump woman said.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George," said the boy. "Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you tell I'm George?"
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"And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?" [Harry]
"Throw it away and punch him in the nose," suggested Ron.
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One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow. The lake froze solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban.
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"So you mean the Stone's only safe as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?" said Hermione in alarm.
"It'll be gone by next Tuesday," said Ron.
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"Now, you two - Behave yourselves. If I get one word that you've blown up a toilet or - " [Mrs. Weasley]
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum."
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Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," said Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," said Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," said Ron.
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"See?" said Hermione, when Harry and Ron had finished. "The dog must be guarding Flamel's Sorcerer's Stone! I bet he asked Dumbledore to keep it safe for him, because they're friends and he knew someone was after it, that's why he wanted the Stone moved out of Gringotts!"
"A stone that makes gold and stops you from ever dying!" said Harry. "No wonder Snape's after it! Anyone would want it."
"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry," said Ron. "He's not exactly recent if he's six hundred and sixty-five, is he?"
-----------------------------------------
Harry left the locker room alone some time later, to take his Nimbus Two Thousand back to the broomshed. He couldn't ever remember feeling happier. He'd really done something to be proud of now - no one could say he was just a famous name any more. The evening air had never smelled so sweet. He walked over the damp grass, reliving the last hour in his head, which was a happy blur: Gryffindors running to lift him onto their shoulders; Ron and Hermione in the distance, jumping up and down, Ron cheering through a heavy nosebleed.
-----------------------------------------
"It bit me!" he said, showing them his hand, which was wrapped in a bloody handkerchief.
"I'm not going to be able to hold a quill for a week. I tell you, that dragon's the most horrible animal I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes on about it, you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me he told me off for frightening it. And when I left, he was singing it a lullaby."
-----------------------------------------
"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?"
"Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..."
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"There was a horrible smell in the kitchen next morning when Harry went for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in grey water.
"What's this?" he asked Petunia.
"Your new school uniform," she said.
"Oh," he said. "I didn't realise it had to be so wet."
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Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..."
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Harry learned quickly not to feel to sorry for the gnomes. He decided to just drop the first one just over the hedge, but the gnome, sensing weakness, sank his razor sharp teeth into Harry's finger and he had a hard job shaking it off until -
"Wow, Harry - that must have been fifty feet!"
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"You're alive," she said blankly to Harry.
"There's no need to sound so disappointed," he said grimly, wiping flecks of blood and slime off his glasses.
"Oh, well...I'd just been thinking...if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet," said Myrtle, blushing silver.
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"A Study of Hogwarts' Prefects and Their Later Careers," Ron read aloud off the back cover. "That sounds fascinating."
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Hermione, however, clapped a hand to her forehead. "Harry -- I think I've just understood something! I've got to go to the library!" And she sprinted away, up the stairs.
"What does she understand?" said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from.
"Loads more than I do." said Ron, shaking his head.
"But why's she got to go to the library?"
"Because that's what Hermione does," said Ron, shrugging. "When in doubt, go to the library."
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Warlock D. J. Prod of Didsbury says: "My wife used to sneer at my feeble charms, but one month into your fabulous Kwikspell course and I succeeded in turning her into a yak! Thank you, Kwikspell!"
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"Do I look stupid?" snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache.
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They were almost at King's Cross when Harry remembered something.
"Ginny--what did you see Percy doing, that he didn't want you to tell anyone?"
"Oh that," said Ginny, giggling. "Well--Percy's got a girlfriend."
Fred dropped a stack of books on George's head. "What?"
"It's that Ravenclaw prefect, Penelope Clearwater," said Ginny. "That's who he was writing to all last summer. He's been meeting her all over the school in secret. I walked in on them kissing in an empty classroom one day. He was so upest when she was--you know--attacked. You won't tease him, will you?" she added anxiously.
"Wouldn't dream of it," said Fred, who was looking like his birthday had come early.
"Definitely not," said George, sniggering.
----------------------------------------
Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
George looked up in time to see Malfoy pretending to faint with terror again.
"That little git," he said calmly. "He wasn't so cocky last night when the dementors were down our end of the train. Came running into our compartment, didn't he, Fred?"
"Nearly wet himself," said Fred, with a contemptuous glance at Malfoy.
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Percy had what were possibly the least helpful words of comfort.
"They make a fuss about Hogsmeade, but I assure you, Harry, it's not all it's cracked up to be," he said seriously. "All right, the sweetshop's rather good, and Zonko's Joke Shop's frankly dangerous, and yes, the Shrieking Shack is always worth a visit, but really, Harry, apart from that, you're not missing anything."
------------------------------------------
As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map. "Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But the map didn't stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first.
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
It would have been funny if the situation hadn't been so serious. And there was more...
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."
Harry closed his eyes in horror. When he'd opened them, the map had had its last word.
"Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."
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Ron was staring at Pettigrew with the utmost revulsion.
"I let you sleep in my bed!" he said.
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"Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?" said a cold, drawling voice.
Draco Malfoy had arrived for a closer look, Crabbe and Goyle right behind him.
"Yeah, reckon so," said Harry casually.
"Got plenty of special features, hasn't it?" said Malfoy, eyes glittering maliciously. "Shame it doesn't come with a parachute - in case you get too near a Dementor."
Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.
"Pity you can't attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy," said Harry. "Then it could catch the Snitch for you."
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"Well...when we were in our first year, Harry-young, carefree, and innocent-"
Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent.
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(Harry, just being greeted by Percy) "Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy-"
"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing." Percy scowled.
"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.
"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seized her hand too. "How really corking to see you-"
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Trelawney: "Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?"
Ron: "I don't need help, it's obvious what this means: there's going to be loads of fog tonight."
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"How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding.
"The Ministry's providing a couple of cars," said Mr. Weasley.
Everyone looked up at him.
"Why?" said Percy curiously.
"It's because of you, Perce," said George seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them-"
"-for Humongous Bighead," said Fred.
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"Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.
"Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself."
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"Professor Dumbledore - yesterday, when I was having my Divination exam, Professor Trelawney went very - very strange."
"Indeed?" said Dumbledore. "Er - stranger than usual, you mean?"
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Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
"I told you!" Ron hissed at Hermione as she stared down the article. "I told you not to annoy Rita Skeeter! She's made you out to be some sort of - scarlet woman!"
Hermione stopped looking astonished and snorted with laughter. "Scarlet woman?" she repeated, shaking with surprised giggles as she looked around at Ron.
"It's what my mum calls them," Ron muttered, his ears going red.
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"Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?" said Fred.
"That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!" said Percy, going very red in the face. "It was nothing personal!"
"It was," Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. "We sent it."
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Dudley had done the thing he was threatening to do since age three: He had become wider than he was tall.
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One of them was a very old wizard who was wearing a long flowery nightgown. The other was clearly a Ministry wizard; he was holding out a pair of pinstriped trousers and almost crying with exasperation.
"Just put them on, Archie, there's a good chap. You can't walk around like that, the Muggle at the gate's already getting suspicious-"
"I bought this in a Muggle shop," said the old wizard stubbornly. "Muggles wear them."
"Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these," said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstriped trousers.
"I'm not putting them on," said old Archie in indignation. "I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates, thanks."
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"Mad-Eye Moody?" said George thoughtfully, spreading marmalade on his toast. "Isn't he that nutter-"
"Your father thinks very highly of Mad-Eye Moody," said Mrs. Weasley sternly.
"Yeah, well, Dad collects plugs, doesn't he?" said Fred quietly as Mrs. Weasley left the room. "Birds of a feather..."
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"OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!"
Harry spun around. Professor Moody was limping down the marble staircase. His wand was out and it was pointing right at a pure white ferret.
"I want to fix that in my memory forever," said Ron, his closed and an uplifted expression on his face. "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."
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"Don't be prat, Neville, that's illegal," said George. "They wouldn't use the Cruciatus Curse on the champions. I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry."
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"Enjoying it?" said Ron darkly. "I don't reckon he'd come home if Dad didn't make him. He's obsessed. Just don't get him onto the subject of his boss. 'According to Mr. Crouch...as I was saying to Mr. Crouch...Mr. Crouch is of the opinion...Mr. Crouch was telling me...' They'll be announcing their engagement any day now."
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Ron: "Who're you going with then?"
Fred: "Angelina."
Ron: "What? You've already asked her?"
Fred: "Good point. Oi, Angelina! Want to come to the ball with me?"
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Ron: "I could've taken those mer-idiots any time I wanted."
Hermione: "What were you going to do, snore at them?"
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[Harry considering whom to tell that his scar hurt] As far as informing the headmaster, Harry had no idea where Dumbledore went during the summer holidays. He amused himself for a moment, picturing Dumbledore, with his long silver beard, full-length wizard's robes, and pointed hat, stretched out on a beach somewhere, rubbing suntan lotion onto his long crooked nose.
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(Harry, reading Ron's letter) ...Thought I'd send this with Pig anyway.
Harry stared at the word "Pig," and looked up at the tiny owl now fluttering around the light fixture on the ceiling. He had never seen anything that looked less like a pig.
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"I've got two Neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down at his piece of parchment, "that can't be right, can it?"
"Aaaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mystical whisper, "when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry..."
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He therefore had to endure over an hour of Professor Trelawney, who spent half the lesson telling everyone that the position of Mars with relation to Saturn at that moment meant that people born in July were in great danger of sudden, violent deaths. "Well, that's good," said Harry loudly, his temper getting the better of him, "just as long as it's not drawn out. I don't want to suffer."
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"Excuse me, I don't like people just because they're handsome!" said Hermione indignantly.
Ron gave a loud false cough, which sounded oddly like "Lockhart!"
------------------------------------------
"Oh, am I?" said Ron peering down at his predictions. "I'd better change one of them to getting trampled by a rampaging Hippogriff."
"Don't you think it's a bit obvious you've made these up?" said Hermione.
"How dare you!" said Ron in mock outrage. "We've been working like house-elves here!"
------------------------------------------
"Oh Professor look! I think I found an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?"
"It is Uranus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney peering down a the chart.
"Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?" said Ron.
------------------------------------------
"Mr. Weasley, it's Harry.. the fireplace has been blocked up. You won't be able to get through there."
"Damn!" said Mr. Weasley's voice. "What on earth did they want to block the fireplace for?"
"They've got an electric fire," Harry explained.
"Really?" said Mr. Weasley's voice excitedly. "Eclectic, you say? With a plug? Gracious, I must see that... Let's think...ouch, Ron!"
Ron's voice now joined the others'.
"What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?"
"Oh no, Ron," came Fred's voice, very sarcastically. "No, this is exactly where we want to end up."
"Yeah, we're having the time of our lives here," said George, whose voice sounded muffled, as though he was squashed against the wall.
------------------------------------------
"Why weren't you two at dinner?" she [Hermione] said, coming over to join them.
"Because - oh shut up laughing, you two - because they've both just been turned down by girls they asked to the ball!" said Ginny.
That shut Harry and Ron up.
"Thanks a bunch, Ginny," said Ron sourly.
"All the good-looking ones taken, Ron?" said Hermione loftily. "Eloise Midgen starting to look quite pretty now, is she? Well, I'm sure you'll find someone somewhere who'll have you."
But Ron was staring at Hermione as though suddenly seeing her in a whole new light.
"Hermione, Neville's right - you are a girl..."
"Oh well spotted," she said acidly.
"Well - you can come with one of us!"
"No, I can't," snapped Hermione.
"Oh come on," he said impatiently, "we need partners, we're going to look really stupid if we haven't got any, everyone else has..."
"I can't come with you," said Hermione, now blushing, "because I'm already going with someone."
"No, you're not!" said Ron. "You just said that to get rid of Neville!"
"Oh, did I?" said Hermione, and her eyes flashed dangerously. "Just because it's taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!"
------------------------------------------
"Wild!" he said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again ... and again ... and again. . ."
------------------------------------------
"I was saying that Saturn was surely in a position of power in the heavens at the moment of your birth...your dark hair...your mean stature...tragic losses so young in life...I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in midwinter?"
"No," said Harry, "I was born in July."
Ron hastily turned his laugh into a hacking cough.
------------------------------------------
"Of course we still want to know you!" Harry said, staring at Hagrid.
"You don't think anything that Skeeter cow - sorry, Professor," he added quickly, looking at Dumbledore.
"I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry," said Dumbledore, twiddling his thumbs and staring at the ceiling.
------------------------------------------
"What are you working on?" said Harry.
"A report for the Department of International Magical Cooperation," said Percy smugly. "We're trying to standardize cauldron thickness. Some of these foreign imports are just a shade too thin - leakages have been increasing at a rate of almost three percent a year--"
"That'll change the world, that report will," said Ron. "Front page of the Daily Prophet, I expect, cauldron leaks."
------------------------------------------
"Mr. Crouch?" said Percy, suddenly abandoning his look of poker-stiff disapproval and positively writhing with excitement. "He speaks over two hundred! Mermish and Gobbledegook and Troll..."
"Anyone can speak Troll," said Fred dismissively. "All you have to do is point and grunt."
------------------------------------------
"Mr. Crouch!" said Percy breathlessly, sunk into a kind of half-bow that made him look like a hunchback. "Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Oh," said Mr. Crouch, looking over at Percy in mild surprise. "Yes — thank you, Weatherby."
Fred and George choked into their own cups. Percy, very pink around the ears, busied himself with the kettle.
------------------------------------------
"You’re not by any chance writing out a new order form, are you?" said Mrs. Weasley shrewdly. "You wouldn’t be thinking of restarting Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, by any chance?"
"Now, Mum," said Fred, looking up at her, a pained look on his face. "If the Hogwarts Express crashed tomorrow, and George and I died, how would you feel to know that the last thing we ever heard from you was an unfounded accusation?"
------------------------------------------
"But I think Durmstrang must be somewhere in the far north," said Hermione thoughtfully. "Somewhere very cold, because they’ve got fur capes as part of their uniforms."
"Ah think of the possibilities," said Ron dreamily. "It would’ve been so easy to push Malfoy off a glacier and make it look like an accident... Shame his mother likes him..."
------------------------------------------
"Harry’s got a long way to go before he finishes this tournament," she [Hermione] said seriously. "If that was the first task, I hate to think what’s coming next."
"Right little ray of sunshine, aren’t you?" said Ron. "You and Professor Trelawney should get together sometime."
------------------------------------------
"You’re joking, Weasley!" said Malfoy, behind them. "You’re not telling me someone’s asked that to the ball? Not the long-molared Mudblood?"
Harry and Ron both whipped round, but Hermione said loudly, waving to somebody over Malfoy’s shoulder, "Hello, Professor Moody!"
Malfoy went pale and jumped backward, looking wildly around for Moody, but he was still up at the staff table, finishing his stew.
"Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you, Malfoy?" said Hermione scathingly, and she, Harry, and Ron went up the marble staircase laughing heartily.
------------------------------------------
"Colin, I fell in!" he [Dennis Creevey] said shrilly, throwing himself into an empty seat. "It was brilliant! And something in the water grabbed me and pushed me back in the boat!"
"Cool!" said Colin, just as excitedly. "It was probably the giant squid, Dennis!"
"Wow!" said Dennis, as though nobody in their wildest dreams could hope for more than being thrown into a storm-tossed, fathoms-deep lake, and pushed out of it again by a giant sea monster.
------------------------------------------
"He's not even good-looking!" she [Hermione] muttered angrily, glaring at Krum's sharp profile. "They only like him because he's famous! They wouldn't look twice at him if he couldn't do that Wonky-Faint thing - "
"Wronski Feint," said Harry, through gritted teeth. Quite apart from liking to get Quidditch terms correct, it caused him another pang to imagine Ron's expression if he could have heard Hermione talking about Wonky-Faints.
------------------------------------------
"Maybe he'll believe I'm not enjoying myself once I've got my neck broken or - "
"That's not funny," said Hermione quietly. "That's not funny at all." She looked extremely anxious. "Harry, I've been thinking - you know what we've got to do, don't you? Straight away, the moment we get back to the castle?"
"Yeah, give Ron a good kick up the - "
"Write to Sirius."
------------------------------------------
Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
A week after Fred and George's departure, Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, "It unscrews the other way."
------------------------------------------
"Well, we were always going to fail that one," said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up an realize he had been describing the examiner's reflection.
------------------------------------------
"How long have you been 'Big D' then?" said Harry.
"Shut it," snarled Dudley, turning away again.
"Cool name," said Harry, grinning, "but you'll always
be Ickle Diddykins to me."
"Shut your face."
"You don't tell her to shut her face. What about 'popkin' and 'Dinky Diddydums,' can I use them then?"
------------------------------------------
"Who's Kreacher?"
"The house-elf who lives here," said Ron. "Nutter. Never met one like him."
"He is not a nutter," said Hermione.
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother," said Ron. "Is that normal, Hermione?"
------------------------------------------
(After Lupin goes through a list of all the things they've done to discredit Dumbledore) "But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog Cards," said Bill, grinning.
------------------------------------------
"Ah," said Fudge, who looked thoroughly disconcerted. "Dumbledore. Yes. You, er, got our - er - message that the time and - er - place of the hearing had been changed, then?"
"I must have missed it," said Dumbledore cheerfully. "However, due to a lucky mistake I arrived at the Ministry three hours early, so no harm done."
"Yes - well - I suppose we'll need another chair - I - Weasley, could you--?"
"Not to worry, not to worry," said Dumbledore pleasantly; he took out his wand, gave it a little flick, and a squishy chintz armchair appeared out of nowhere next to Harry. Dumbledore sat down, put the tips of his long fingers together and surveyed Fudge over them with an expression of polite interest.
------------------------------------------
"Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night," said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. "What do you think that means?"
"Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something," said Harry, turning the pages of The Dream Oracle without interest.
------------------------------------------
"Er - thanks very much, Ernie," said Harry, taken aback. Ernie might be pompous on occasions like these, but Harry was in a mood to deeply appreciate a vote of confidence from somebody who was not wearing radishes in their ears.
------------------------------------------
"The hats have gone," Hermione said happily. "Seems the house-elves do want freedom after all."
"I wouldn't bet on it," Ron told her cuttingly. "They might not count as clothes. They didn't look anything like hats to me, more like woolly bladders."
------------------------------------------
"Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" said Zacharias Smith.
"Here's an idea," said Ron loudly, "why don't you shut your mouth?"
"Well, we've all turned up to learn from him and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it," he said.
"That's not what he said," said Fred Weasley.
"Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" inquired George, pulling a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from inside one of the Zonko's bags.
"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this," said Fred.
------------------------------------------
"What's up with you, Hermione?"
She was gazing out the window, but not as though she really saw it. Her eyes were unfocused and there was a frown on her face.
"Just thinking..." she said, still frowning.
"About Siri-"
"Snuffles?" said Harry.
"No...not exactly..." said Hermione slowly. "More...wondering...I suppose we're doing the right thing...I think....aren't we?"
Harry and Ron looked at each other.
"Well, that clears that up," said Ron. "It would have been really annoying if you hadn't explained yourself properly."
------------------------------------------
"- but you get these massive pus-filled boils too," said George, "and we haven't worked out how to get rid of them yet."
"I can't see any boils," said Ron, staring at the twins.
"No, well, you wouldn't," said Fred, "they're not in a place we generally display to the public-"
"-but they make sitting on a broom a right pain in the-"
Fred and George were looking particularly annoyed; both were bandy-legged and winced with every movement. "I think a few of mine have ruptured," said Fred in a hollow voice.
"Mine haven't," said George, through clenched teeth. "They're throbbing like mad...feel bigger if anything..."
------------------------------------------
They were so busy that Hermione had stopped knitting elf hats and was fretting that she was down to her last three. "All those poor elves I haven't set free yet, having to stay over during Christmas because there aren't enough hats!"
------------------------------------------
A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."
"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have," said Hermione.
------------------------------------------
Rita stared at her. So did Harry. Luna, on the other hand, sang "Weasley is our King" dreamily under her breath and stirred her drink with a cocktail onion on a stick.
------------------------------------------
As they climbed the staircase, the photos of various Healers called out to them, diagnosing odd complaints and suggesting horrible remedies. Ron was seriously affronted when a medieval wizard called out that he clearly had a bad case of spattergroit.
"And what's that supposed to be?" he asked angrily, as the Healer pursued him through six more portraits, shoving the occupants out of the way.
"'Tis a most grievous affliction of the skin, young master, that will leave you pockmarked and more gruesome even than you are now-"
"Watch who you're calling gruesome!" said Ron, his ears turning red.
"The only remedy is to take the liver of a toad, bind it tight about your throat, stand naked by the full moon in a barrel of eels' eyes-"
"I have not got spattergroit!"
"But the unsightly blemishes on your visage, young master-"
"They're freckles!" said Ron furiously. "Now get back in your own picture and leave me alone!"
He rounded on the others, who were all keeping determinedly straight faces.
------------------------------------------
"Yeah, Montague tried to do us during break," said George.
"What do you mean, 'tried'?" said Ron quickly.
"He never managed to get all the words out," said Fred, "due to the fact that we forced him headfirst into that Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor."
Hermione looked very shocked. "But you'll get into terrible trouble!"
"Not until Montague reappears, and that could take weeks, I dunno where we sent him," said Fred coolly. "Anyway, we've decided that we don't care about getting into trouble anymore."
"Have you ever?" asked Hermione.
"'Course we have," said George. "Never been expelled, have we?"
"We might have put a toe across occasionally," said Fred.
"But we've always stopped short of causing real mayhem," said Fred.
"But now?" said Ron tentatively.
"-what with Dumbledore gone-" said Fred.
"-we reckon a bit of mayhem-" said George.
"-is exactly what our dear new Head deserves," said Fred.
------------------------------------------
"Cheers," whispered George, wiping tears of laughter from his face. "Oh, I hope she tries Vanishing them next...they multiply by ten every time you try..."
The fireworks continued to burn and spread all over the school that afternoon. Though they caused plenty of disruption, the other teachers did not seem to mind them very much.
"Dear, dear," said Professor McGonagall sardonically, as one of the dragons soared around her classroom, emitting loud bangs and exhaling flame. "Miss Brown, would you mind running along to the headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?"
"Thank you so much, Professor!" said Professor Flitwick in his squeaky little voice. "I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn't sure whether I had the authority..."
Beaming, he closed the classroom door in Umbridge's snarling face.
------------------------------------------
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James.
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."
------------------------------------------
"You two," she went on, gazing down at Fred and George, "are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school."
"You know what?" said Fred. "I don't think we are."
He turned to his twin.
"George," said Fred, "I think we've outgrown a full-time education."
"Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself," said George lightly.
"Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?" asked Fred.
"Definitely," said George.
And before Umbridge could say a word, they raised their wants and said together, "Accio Brooms!"
Harry heard a loud crash somewhere in the distance. Looking to his left he ducked just in time -- Fred and George's broomsticks, one still trailing the heavy chain and iron peg with which Umbridge had fastened them to the wall, were hurtling along the corridor toward their owners. They turned left, streaked down the stairs, and stopped sharply in front of the twins, the chain clattering loudly on the flagged stone floor.
"We won't be seeing you," Fred told Professor Umbridge, swinging his leg over his broomstick.
"Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch," said George, mounting his own.
Fred looked around at the assembled students, and at the silent, watchful crowd.
"If anybody fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three Diagon Alley - Weasley's Wizard Wheezes," he said in a loud voice. "Our new premises!"
"Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat," said George, pointing at Professor Umbridge.
"STOP THEM!" shrieked Umbridge, but it was too late. As the Inquisitorial Squad closed in, Fred and George kicked off from the floor, shooting fifteen feet into the air, the iron peg swinging dangerously below. Fred looked across the hall at the poltergeist bobbing on his level above the crowd.
"Give her hell from us, Peeves."
And Peeves, whom Harry had never seen take an order from a student before, swept his belled hat from his head and sprang to a salute as Fred and George wheeled about to tumultuous applause from the students below and sped out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset.
------------------------------------------
By the time Ernie MacMillan, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Anthony Goldstein, and Terry Boot had finished using a wide variety of the hexes and jinxes Harry had taught them, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle resembled nothing so much as three gigantic slugs squeezed into Hogwarts uniforms as Harry, Ernie, and Justin hoisted them into the luggage rack and left them there to ooze.
"I must say, I'm looking forward to seeing Malfoy's mother's face when he gets off the train," said Ernie with satisfaction.
"Goyle's mum'll be really pleased, though," said Ron. "He's loads better looking now."
------------------------------------------
"And do I look like the kind of man that can be intimidated?" barked Uncle Vernon.
"Well..." said Moody, pushing back his bowler hat to reveal his sinisterly revolving eye. Uncle Vernon lept backward in horror and collided painfully with a luggage trolley. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley."
------------------------------------------
"Didn't you listen to Dolores Umbridge's speech at the start-of-term feast, Potter?"
"Yeah," said Harry. "Yeah...she said...progress will be prohibited or...well, it meant that...that the Ministry of Magic is trying to interfere at Hogwarts."
"Well, I'm glad you listen to Hermione Granger at any rate."
------------------------------------------
Hermione drew herself to her full height; her eyes were narrowed and her hair seemed to crackle with electricity. "No," she said, her voice quivering with anger, "but I will write to your mother."
"You wouldn't," said George, horrified, taking a step back from her.
"Oh, yes, I would," said Hermione grimly. "I can't stop you from eating the stupid things yourself, but you're not giving them to first years."
Fred and George looked thunderstruck. It was clear that as far as they were concerned, Hermione's threat was way below the belt.
------------------------------------------
"Has Ron saved a goal yet?" asked Hermione.
"Well, he can do it if he thinks no one is watching him," said Fred, rolling his eyes. "So all we have to do is ask the crowd to turn their backs and talk among themselves every time the Quaffle goes up on his end Saturday."
------------------------------------------
Weasley cannot save a thing,
He cannot block a single ring,
That's why Slytherins all sing:
Weasley is our King.
Weasley was born in a bin,
He always lets the Quaffle in,
Weasley will make sure we win,
Weasley is our King.
------------------------------------------
"The headmistress would like to see you, Potter," [Filch] leered.
"I didn't do it," said Harry stupidly, thinking of whatever Fred and George were planning.
Filch's jowls wobbled with silent laughter. "Guilty conscience eh?" he wheezed.
"Follow me...."
------------------------------------------
"I'll give you undercover!" cried Mrs. Figg. "Dementors, you useless, skiving sneak thief!"
"Dementors?" repeated Mundungus, aghast. "Dementors here?"
"Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings, here!" shrieked Mrs. Figg.
------------------------------------------
"Not this brave at night, are you?" sneered Dudley.
"This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this."
------------------------------------------
"I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt, and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair.
"I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...backside..."
------------------------------------------
"Is Bill here?" he (Harry) asked. "I thought he was working in Egypt."
"He applied for a desk job so he could home and work for the Order," said Fred. "He says he misses the tombs, but," he smirked. "there are compensations..."
"What d'you mean?"
"Remember old Fleur Delacour?" said George. "She's got a job at Gringotts to eemprove 'er Eeenglish-"
"-and Bill's been giving her a lot of private lessons," sniggered Fred.
------------------------------------------
Malfoy glanced around. Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers. Then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, "You're dead, Potter."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "you'd think I'd have stopped walking around..."
------------------------------------------
Draco: "You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments."
"Yeah," said Harry, "but you, unlike me, are a git."
------------------------------------------
Harry looked up at Ron. "Well," he said, trying to sound as though he found this whole thing a joke, "if you want to - er - what is it?" He checked Percy's letter. "Oh yeah - 'sever ties' with me, I swear I won't get violent."
"Give it back," said Ron, holding out his hand.
"He is - " Ron said jerkily, tearing Percy's letter in half, "the world's" - He tore it into quarters - "biggest" - He tore it into eighths - "git." He threw the pieces into the fire.
"Come on, we've got to finish this essay sometime before dawn," he said briskly to Harry, pulling Professor Sinistra's essay back toward him.
Hermione was looking at Ron with an odd expression on her face.
"Oh, give them here," she said abruptly.
"What?" said Ron.
"Give them to me, I'll look through them and correct them," she said.
"Are you serious? Ah, Hermione, you're a lifesaver," said Ron, "what can I - ?"
"What you can say is, 'We promise we'll never leave our homework this late again,' " she said, holding out both hands for their essays, but she looked slightly amused all the same.
"Thanks a million, Hermione," said Harry weakly, passing over his essay, and sinking back into his armchair, rubbing his eyes.
...(Later on) "Okay, write that down," Hermione said to Ron, pushing his essay and a sheet covered in her own writing back to Ron, "and then copy out this conclusion that I've written for you."
"Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I have ever met," said Ron weakly, "and if I'm ever rude to you again - "
" - I'll know you're back to normal," said Hermione.
------------------------------------------
Dudley: "He [Mark Evans] cheeked me."
Harry: "Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true."
------------------------------------------
"Keep your 'airnet on!" said Mundungus, his arms over his head, cowering. "I'm going, I'm going!" And with another loud CRACK, he vanished.
"I hope Dumbledore MURDERS him!" said Mrs Figg furiously. "Now come ON, Harry, what are you waiting for?"
Harry decided not to waste his remaining breath on pointing out that he could barely walk under Dudley's bulk.
------------------------------------------
"Don't put your wand there, boy!" roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"
------------------------------------------
"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall.
"Loved it," said Lupin briskly. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."
"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.
"Think I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin..."
------------------------------------------
Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's.
"I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?" said George indignantly, as his mother pushed him aside and flung her arms around her youngest son.
------------------------------------------
"It was my father's," said Sirius, throwing the ring into the sack. "Kreacher wasn't quite as devoted to him as to my mother, but I still caught him snogging a pair of my father's old trousers last week."
------------------------------------------
"Stop doing that!" Hermione said weakly to the twins, who were as vividly red-haired as Ron, though stockier and slighty shorter.
"Hello, Harry," said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones."
"You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."
------------------------------------------
"Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our window, boy?"
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.
------------------------------------------
"What do you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed. "What- am I supposed to be frightened of - pillows or something?"
------------------------------------------
"We know you're up to something funny," said Aunt Petunia.
"We're not stupid, you know," said Uncle Vernon.
"Well that's news to me," said Harry, his temper rising, and before the Dursleys could call him back, he had wheeled about, crossed the front lawn, stepped over the low garden wall, and was striding off up the street.
------------------------------------------
"Lovely evening!" shouted Uncle Vernon, waving at Mrs. Number Seven, who was glaring from behind her net curtains. "Did you hear that car backfire just now? Gave Petunia and me quite a turn!"
He continued to grin in a horrible, manic way until all the curious neighbors had disappeared from their various windows, then the grin became a grimace of rage as he beckoned Harry back toward him.
-------------------------------------------
"We're not discussing anything here, it's too risky," said Moody, turning his normal eye on Harry; his magical eye remained pointing up at the ceiling. "Damn it," he added angrily, putting a hand up to the magical eye, "it keeps sticking - ever since that scum wore it - "
And with a nasty squelching sound much like a plunger being pulled from a sink, he popped out his eye.
"Mad-eye, you know that's disgusting, don't you?" said Tonks conversationally.
-------------------------------------------
"Excellent." said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry -"
"They won't," said Harry.
"That you're safe -"
"That'll just depress them."
"- and you'll see them next summer."
"Do I have to?"
-------------------------------------------
"What can I do, Molly?" said Tonks enthusiastically, bounding forward.
Mrs. Weasley hesitated, looking apprehensive.
"Er - no, it's all right, Tonks, you have a rest too, you've done enough today.
"No, no I want to help!" said Tonks brightly, knocking over a chair as she hurried toward the dresser from which Ginny was collecting cutlery.
-------------------------------------------
"We thought we'd just have a few words with you about Harry," said Mr. Weasley, still smiling.
"Yeah," growled Moody. "About how he's treated when he's at your place."
Uncle Vernon's mustache seemed to bristle with indignation. Possibly because the bowler hat gave him the entirely mistaken impression that he was dealing with a kindred spirit, he addressed himself to Moody.
"I am not aware that it is any of your business what goes on in my house--"
"I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursley," growled Moody.
-------------------------------------------
(Ron and Harry just completed the Divination O.W.L. examination and are walking down the marble staircase)
"We shouldn't have taken up that stupid subject in the first place," said Harry.
"Still, at least we can give it up now."
"Yeah," said Harry. "No more pretending we care what happens when Jupiter and Uranus get too friendly..."
"And from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'die, Ron, die' -- I'm just chucking them in the bin where they belong."
-------------------------------------------
"This is bizarre!" Harry heard Ron yell from somewhere behind him, and he imagined how it must feel to be speeding along at this height with no visible means of support..
Ron landed a short way away and toppled immediately off his thestral onto the pavement.
"Never again," he said, struggling to his feet. He made as though to stride away from his thestral, but, unable to see it, collided with its hindquarters and almost fell over again. "Never, ever again...that was the worst---"
-------------------------------------------
"I would not go that way if I were you," said Nearly Headless Nick, drifting diconcertingly through a wall just ahead of him as he walked down the passage. "Peeves is planning an amusing joke on the next person to pass the bust of Paracelsus halfway down the corridor."
"Does it involve Paracelsus falling on top of the person's head?" asked Harry.
"Funnily enough, it does," said Nick in a bored voice. "Subtelty has never been Peeve's strong point. I'm off to try and find the Bloody Baron... He might be able to put a stop to it... See you, Harry..."
--------------------------------------------
"...Little Ronnie, a prefect...Oh, I'm all of a dither!" She [Mrs. Weasley] gave Ron yet another kiss on the cheek, sniffed loudly, and bustled from the room Fred and George exchanged looks.
"You don't mind if we don't kiss you, do you, Ron?" said Fred in a falsely anxious voice.
"We could curtsy, if you like," said George. A week after Fred and George's departure, Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, "It unscrews the other way."
------------------------------------------
"Well, we were always going to fail that one," said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up an realize he had been describing the examiner's reflection.
------------------------------------------
"How long have you been 'Big D' then?" said Harry.
"Shut it," snarled Dudley, turning away again.
"Cool name," said Harry, grinning, "but you'll always
be Ickle Diddykins to me."
"Shut your face."
"You don't tell her to shut her face. What about 'popkin' and 'Dinky Diddydums,' can I use them then?"
------------------------------------------
"Who's Kreacher?"
"The house-elf who lives here," said Ron. "Nutter. Never met one like him."
"He is not a nutter," said Hermione.
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother," said Ron. "Is that normal, Hermione?"
------------------------------------------
(After Lupin goes through a list of all the things they've done to discredit Dumbledore) "But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog Cards," said Bill, grinning.
------------------------------------------
"Ah," said Fudge, who looked thoroughly disconcerted. "Dumbledore. Yes. You, er, got our - er - message that the time and - er - place of the hearing had been changed, then?"
"I must have missed it," said Dumbledore cheerfully. "However, due to a lucky mistake I arrived at the Ministry three hours early, so no harm done."
"Yes - well - I suppose we'll need another chair - I - Weasley, could you--?"
"Not to worry, not to worry," said Dumbledore pleasantly; he took out his wand, gave it a little flick, and a squishy chintz armchair appeared out of nowhere next to Harry. Dumbledore sat down, put the tips of his long fingers together and surveyed Fudge over them with an expression of polite interest.
------------------------------------------
"Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night," said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. "What do you think that means?"
"Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something," said Harry, turning the pages of The Dream Oracle without interest.
------------------------------------------
"Er - thanks very much, Ernie," said Harry, taken aback. Ernie might be pompous on occasions like these, but Harry was in a mood to deeply appreciate a vote of confidence from somebody who was not wearing radishes in their ears.
------------------------------------------
"The hats have gone," Hermione said happily. "Seems the house-elves do want freedom after all."
"I wouldn't bet on it," Ron told her cuttingly. "They might not count as clothes. They didn't look anything like hats to me, more like woolly bladders."
------------------------------------------
"Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" said Zacharias Smith.
"Here's an idea," said Ron loudly, "why don't you shut your mouth?"
"Well, we've all turned up to learn from him and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it," he said.
"That's not what he said," said Fred Weasley.
"Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" inquired George, pulling a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from inside one of the Zonko's bags.
"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this," said Fred.
------------------------------------------
"What's up with you, Hermione?"
She was gazing out the window, but not as though she really saw it. Her eyes were unfocused and there was a frown on her face.
"Just thinking..." she said, still frowning.
"About Siri-"
"Snuffles?" said Harry.
"No...not exactly..." said Hermione slowly. "More...wondering...I suppose we're doing the right thing...I think....aren't we?"
Harry and Ron looked at each other.
"Well, that clears that up," said Ron. "It would have been really annoying if you hadn't explained yourself properly."
------------------------------------------
"- but you get these massive pus-filled boils too," said George, "and we haven't worked out how to get rid of them yet."
"I can't see any boils," said Ron, staring at the twins.
"No, well, you wouldn't," said Fred, "they're not in a place we generally display to the public-"
"-but they make sitting on a broom a right pain in the-"
Fred and George were looking particularly annoyed; both were bandy-legged and winced with every movement. "I think a few of mine have ruptured," said Fred in a hollow voice.
"Mine haven't," said George, through clenched teeth. "They're throbbing like mad...feel bigger if anything..."
------------------------------------------
They were so busy that Hermione had stopped knitting elf hats and was fretting that she was down to her last three. "All those poor elves I haven't set free yet, having to stay over during Christmas because there aren't enough hats!"
------------------------------------------
A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."
"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have," said Hermione.
------------------------------------------
Rita stared at her. So did Harry. Luna, on the other hand, sang "Weasley is our King" dreamily under her breath and stirred her drink with a cocktail onion on a stick.
------------------------------------------
As they climbed the staircase, the photos of various Healers called out to them, diagnosing odd complaints and suggesting horrible remedies. Ron was seriously affronted when a medieval wizard called out that he clearly had a bad case of spattergroit.
"And what's that supposed to be?" he asked angrily, as the Healer pursued him through six more portraits, shoving the occupants out of the way.
"'Tis a most grievous affliction of the skin, young master, that will leave you pockmarked and more gruesome even than you are now-"
"Watch who you're calling gruesome!" said Ron, his ears turning red.
"The only remedy is to take the liver of a toad, bind it tight about your throat, stand naked by the full moon in a barrel of eels' eyes-"
"I have not got spattergroit!"
"But the unsightly blemishes on your visage, young master-"
"They're freckles!" said Ron furiously. "Now get back in your own picture and leave me alone!"
He rounded on the others, who were all keeping determinedly straight faces.
------------------------------------------
"Yeah, Montague tried to do us during break," said George.
"What do you mean, 'tried'?" said Ron quickly.
"He never managed to get all the words out," said Fred, "due to the fact that we forced him headfirst into that Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor."
Hermione looked very shocked. "But you'll get into terrible trouble!"
"Not until Montague reappears, and that could take weeks, I dunno where we sent him," said Fred coolly. "Anyway, we've decided that we don't care about getting into trouble anymore."
"Have you ever?" asked Hermione.
"'Course we have," said George. "Never been expelled, have we?"
"We might have put a toe across occasionally," said Fred.
"But we've always stopped short of causing real mayhem," said Fred.
"But now?" said Ron tentatively.
"-what with Dumbledore gone-" said Fred.
"-we reckon a bit of mayhem-" said George.
"-is exactly what our dear new Head deserves," said Fred.
------------------------------------------
"Cheers," whispered George, wiping tears of laughter from his face. "Oh, I hope she tries Vanishing them next...they multiply by ten every time you try..."
The fireworks continued to burn and spread all over the school that afternoon. Though they caused plenty of disruption, the other teachers did not seem to mind them very much.
"Dear, dear," said Professor McGonagall sardonically, as one of the dragons soared around her classroom, emitting loud bangs and exhaling flame. "Miss Brown, would you mind running along to the headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?"
"Thank you so much, Professor!" said Professor Flitwick in his squeaky little voice. "I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn't sure whether I had the authority..."
Beaming, he closed the classroom door in Umbridge's snarling face.
------------------------------------------
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James.
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."
------------------------------------------
"You two," she went on, gazing down at Fred and George, "are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school."
"You know what?" said Fred. "I don't think we are."
He turned to his twin.
"George," said Fred, "I think we've outgrown a full-time education."
"Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself," said George lightly.
"Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?" asked Fred.
"Definitely," said George.
And before Umbridge could say a word, they raised their wants and said together, "Accio Brooms!"
Harry heard a loud crash somewhere in the distance. Looking to his left he ducked just in time -- Fred and George's broomsticks, one still trailing the heavy chain and iron peg with which Umbridge had fastened them to the wall, were hurtling along the corridor toward their owners. They turned left, streaked down the stairs, and stopped sharply in front of the twins, the chain clattering loudly on the flagged stone floor.
"We won't be seeing you," Fred told Professor Umbridge, swinging his leg over his broomstick.
"Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch," said George, mounting his own.
Fred looked around at the assembled students, and at the silent, watchful crowd.
"If anybody fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three Diagon Alley - Weasley's Wizard Wheezes," he said in a loud voice. "Our new premises!"
"Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat," said George, pointing at Professor Umbridge.
"STOP THEM!" shrieked Umbridge, but it was too late. As the Inquisitorial Squad closed in, Fred and George kicked off from the floor, shooting fifteen feet into the air, the iron peg swinging dangerously below. Fred looked across the hall at the poltergeist bobbing on his level above the crowd.
"Give her hell from us, Peeves."
And Peeves, whom Harry had never seen take an order from a student before, swept his belled hat from his head and sprang to a salute as Fred and George wheeled about to tumultuous applause from the students below and sped out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset.
------------------------------------------
By the time Ernie MacMillan, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Anthony Goldstein, and Terry Boot had finished using a wide variety of the hexes and jinxes Harry had taught them, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle resembled nothing so much as three gigantic slugs squeezed into Hogwarts uniforms as Harry, Ernie, and Justin hoisted them into the luggage rack and left them there to ooze.
"I must say, I'm looking forward to seeing Malfoy's mother's face when he gets off the train," said Ernie with satisfaction.
"Goyle's mum'll be really pleased, though," said Ron. "He's loads better looking now."
------------------------------------------
"And do I look like the kind of man that can be intimidated?" barked Uncle Vernon.
"Well..." said Moody, pushing back his bowler hat to reveal his sinisterly revolving eye. Uncle Vernon lept backward in horror and collided painfully with a luggage trolley. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley."
------------------------------------------
"Didn't you listen to Dolores Umbridge's speech at the start-of-term feast, Potter?"
"Yeah," said Harry. "Yeah...she said...progress will be prohibited or...well, it meant that...that the Ministry of Magic is trying to interfere at Hogwarts."
"Well, I'm glad you listen to Hermione Granger at any rate."
------------------------------------------
Hermione drew herself to her full height; her eyes were narrowed and her hair seemed to crackle with electricity. "No," she said, her voice quivering with anger, "but I will write to your mother."
"You wouldn't," said George, horrified, taking a step back from her.
"Oh, yes, I would," said Hermione grimly. "I can't stop you from eating the stupid things yourself, but you're not giving them to first years."
Fred and George looked thunderstruck. It was clear that as far as they were concerned, Hermione's threat was way below the belt.
------------------------------------------
"Has Ron saved a goal yet?" asked Hermione.
"Well, he can do it if he thinks no one is watching him," said Fred, rolling his eyes. "So all we have to do is ask the crowd to turn their backs and talk among themselves every time the Quaffle goes up on his end Saturday."
------------------------------------------
Weasley cannot save a thing,
He cannot block a single ring,
That's why Slytherins all sing:
Weasley is our King.
Weasley was born in a bin,
He always lets the Quaffle in,
Weasley will make sure we win,
Weasley is our King.
------------------------------------------
"The headmistress would like to see you, Potter," [Filch] leered.
"I didn't do it," said Harry stupidly, thinking of whatever Fred and George were planning.
Filch's jowls wobbled with silent laughter. "Guilty conscience eh?" he wheezed.
"Follow me...."
------------------------------------------
"I'll give you undercover!" cried Mrs. Figg. "Dementors, you useless, skiving sneak thief!"
"Dementors?" repeated Mundungus, aghast. "Dementors here?"
"Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings, here!" shrieked Mrs. Figg.
------------------------------------------
"Not this brave at night, are you?" sneered Dudley.
"This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this."
------------------------------------------
"I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt, and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair.
"I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...backside..."
------------------------------------------
"Is Bill here?" he (Harry) asked. "I thought he was working in Egypt."
"He applied for a desk job so he could home and work for the Order," said Fred. "He says he misses the tombs, but," he smirked. "there are compensations..."
"What d'you mean?"
"Remember old Fleur Delacour?" said George. "She's got a job at Gringotts to eemprove 'er Eeenglish-"
"-and Bill's been giving her a lot of private lessons," sniggered Fred.
------------------------------------------
Malfoy glanced around. Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers. Then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, "You're dead, Potter."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "you'd think I'd have stopped walking around..."
------------------------------------------
Draco: "You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments."
"Yeah," said Harry, "but you, unlike me, are a git."
------------------------------------------
Harry looked up at Ron. "Well," he said, trying to sound as though he found this whole thing a joke, "if you want to - er - what is it?" He checked Percy's letter. "Oh yeah - 'sever ties' with me, I swear I won't get violent."
"Give it back," said Ron, holding out his hand.
"He is - " Ron said jerkily, tearing Percy's letter in half, "the world's" - He tore it into quarters - "biggest" - He tore it into eighths - "git." He threw the pieces into the fire.
"Come on, we've got to finish this essay sometime before dawn," he said briskly to Harry, pulling Professor Sinistra's essay back toward him.
Hermione was looking at Ron with an odd expression on her face.
"Oh, give them here," she said abruptly.
"What?" said Ron.
"Give them to me, I'll look through them and correct them," she said.
"Are you serious? Ah, Hermione, you're a lifesaver," said Ron, "what can I - ?"
"What you can say is, 'We promise we'll never leave our homework this late again,' " she said, holding out both hands for their essays, but she looked slightly amused all the same.
"Thanks a million, Hermione," said Harry weakly, passing over his essay, and sinking back into his armchair, rubbing his eyes.
...(Later on) "Okay, write that down," Hermione said to Ron, pushing his essay and a sheet covered in her own writing back to Ron, "and then copy out this conclusion that I've written for you."
"Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I have ever met," said Ron weakly, "and if I'm ever rude to you again - "
" - I'll know you're back to normal," said Hermione.
------------------------------------------
Dudley: "He [Mark Evans] cheeked me."
Harry: "Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true."
------------------------------------------
"Keep your 'airnet on!" said Mundungus, his arms over his head, cowering. "I'm going, I'm going!" And with another loud CRACK, he vanished.
"I hope Dumbledore MURDERS him!" said Mrs Figg furiously. "Now come ON, Harry, what are you waiting for?"
Harry decided not to waste his remaining breath on pointing out that he could barely walk under Dudley's bulk.
------------------------------------------
"Don't put your wand there, boy!" roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"
------------------------------------------
"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall.
"Loved it," said Lupin briskly. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."
"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.
"Think I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin..."
------------------------------------------
Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's.
"I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?" said George indignantly, as his mother pushed him aside and flung her arms around her youngest son.
------------------------------------------
"It was my father's," said Sirius, throwing the ring into the sack. "Kreacher wasn't quite as devoted to him as to my mother, but I still caught him snogging a pair of my father's old trousers last week."
------------------------------------------
"Stop doing that!" Hermione said weakly to the twins, who were as vividly red-haired as Ron, though stockier and slighty shorter.
"Hello, Harry," said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones."
"You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."
------------------------------------------
"Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our window, boy?"
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.
------------------------------------------
"What do you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed. "What- am I supposed to be frightened of - pillows or something?"
------------------------------------------
"We know you're up to something funny," said Aunt Petunia.
"We're not stupid, you know," said Uncle Vernon.
"Well that's news to me," said Harry, his temper rising, and before the Dursleys could call him back, he had wheeled about, crossed the front lawn, stepped over the low garden wall, and was striding off up the street.
------------------------------------------
"Lovely evening!" shouted Uncle Vernon, waving at Mrs. Number Seven, who was glaring from behind her net curtains. "Did you hear that car backfire just now? Gave Petunia and me quite a turn!"
He continued to grin in a horrible, manic way until all the curious neighbors had disappeared from their various windows, then the grin became a grimace of rage as he beckoned Harry back toward him.
-------------------------------------------
"We're not discussing anything here, it's too risky," said Moody, turning his normal eye on Harry; his magical eye remained pointing up at the ceiling. "Damn it," he added angrily, putting a hand up to the magical eye, "it keeps sticking - ever since that scum wore it - "
And with a nasty squelching sound much like a plunger being pulled from a sink, he popped out his eye.
"Mad-eye, you know that's disgusting, don't you?" said Tonks conversationally.
-------------------------------------------
"Excellent." said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry -"
"They won't," said Harry.
"That you're safe -"
"That'll just depress them."
"- and you'll see them next summer."
"Do I have to?"
-------------------------------------------
"What can I do, Molly?" said Tonks enthusiastically, bounding forward.
Mrs. Weasley hesitated, looking apprehensive.
"Er - no, it's all right, Tonks, you have a rest too, you've done enough today.
"No, no I want to help!" said Tonks brightly, knocking over a chair as she hurried toward the dresser from which Ginny was collecting cutlery.
-------------------------------------------
"We thought we'd just have a few words with you about Harry," said Mr. Weasley, still smiling.
"Yeah," growled Moody. "About how he's treated when he's at your place."
Uncle Vernon's mustache seemed to bristle with indignation. Possibly because the bowler hat gave him the entirely mistaken impression that he was dealing with a kindred spirit, he addressed himself to Moody.
"I am not aware that it is any of your business what goes on in my house--"
"I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursley," growled Moody.
-------------------------------------------
(Ron and Harry just completed the Divination O.W.L. examination and are walking down the marble staircase)
"We shouldn't have taken up that stupid subject in the first place," said Harry.
"Still, at least we can give it up now."
"Yeah," said Harry. "No more pretending we care what happens when Jupiter and Uranus get too friendly..."
"And from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'die, Ron, die' -- I'm just chucking them in the bin where they belong."
-------------------------------------------
"This is bizarre!" Harry heard Ron yell from somewhere behind him, and he imagined how it must feel to be speeding along at this height with no visible means of support..
Ron landed a short way away and toppled immediately off his thestral onto the pavement.
"Never again," he said, struggling to his feet. He made as though to stride away from his thestral, but, unable to see it, collided with its hindquarters and almost fell over again. "Never, ever again...that was the worst---"
-------------------------------------------
"I would not go that way if I were you," said Nearly Headless Nick, drifting diconcertingly through a wall just ahead of him as he walked down the passage. "Peeves is planning an amusing joke on the next person to pass the bust of Paracelsus halfway down the corridor."
"Does it involve Paracelsus falling on top of the person's head?" asked Harry.
"Funnily enough, it does," said Nick in a bored voice. "Subtelty has never been Peeve's strong point. I'm off to try and find the Bloody Baron... He might be able to put a stop to it... See you, Harry..."
--------------------------------------------
"...Little Ronnie, a prefect...Oh, I'm all of a dither!" She [Mrs. Weasley] gave Ron yet another kiss on the cheek, sniffed loudly, and bustled from the room Fred and George exchanged looks.
"You don't mind if we don't kiss you, do you, Ron?" said Fred in a falsely anxious voice.
"We could curtsy, if you like," said George.
Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
"Arthur, is that you?"
"Yes," came Mr. Weasley's weary voice. "But I would say that even if I were a Death Eater, dear. Ask the question!"
"Oh, honestly..."
"Molly!"
"All right, all right... What is your dearest ambition?"
"To find out how airplanes stay up."
Mrs. Weasley nodded and turned the doorknob, but apparently Mr. Weasley was holding tight to it on the other side, because the door remained firmly shut.
"Molly! I've got to ask you your question first!"
"Arthur, really, this is just silly..."
"What do you like me to call you when we're alone together?"
Even by the dim light of the lantern Harry could tell that Mrs. Weasley had turned bright red; he himself felt suddenly warm around the ears and neck, and hastily gulped soup, clattering his spoon as loudly as he could against the bowl.
"Mollywobbles," whispered a mortified Mrs. Weasley into the crack at the edge of the door.
------------------------------------------
"'Harry Potter knows that he can confide in me with complete confidence,' I told them. 'I would rather die than betray his trust.'"
"That's not saying much, seeing as you're already dead," Ron observed.
"Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe," said Nearly Headless Nick in affronted tones.
------------------------------------------
"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor."
------------------------------------------
"You'd think people had better things to gossip about," said Ginny as she sat on the common room floor, leaning against Harry's legs and reading the Daily Prophet. "Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest."
Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. "Much more macho."
"Thanks," said Harry, grinning. "And what did you tell her Ron's got?"
"A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where."
------------------------------------------
"And that's Smith of Hufflepuff with the Quaffle," said a dreamy voice, echoing over the grounds. "He did the commentary last time, of course, and Ginny Weasley flew into him, I think probably on purpose, it looked like it. Smith was being quite rude about Gryffindor, I expect he regrets that now he's playing them - oh, look, he's lost the Quaffle. Ginny took it from him. I do like her, she's very nice..."
------------------------------------------
"But I thought he liked me," [Myrtle] said plaintively. "Maybe if you two left, he'd come back again. We had lots in common. I'm sure he felt it."
And she looked hopefully toward the door. "When you say you had lots in common," said Ron, sounding rather amused now, "d'you mean he lives in an S-bend too?"
------------------------------------------
"Did you hear, there's supposed to be a vampire coming?"
"Rufus Scrimgeour?" asked Luna.
"I - what?" said Harry, disconcerted. "You mean the Minister of Magic?"
"Yes, he's a vampire," said Luna matter-of-factly. "Father wrote a very long article about it when Scrimgeour first took over from Cornelius Fudge, but he was forced not to publish by somebody from the Ministry. Obviously, they didn't want the truth to get out!"
------------------------------------------
[Talking about Inferi in DADA...] "When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a look to see if it's solid, aren't we? We're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'"
------------------------------------------
Fred, George, Harry, and Ron were the only ones who knew that the angel on top of the tree was actually a garden gnome that had bitten Fred on the ankle as he pulled up carrots for Christmas dinner. Stupefied, painted gold, stuffed into a miniature tutu and with small wings glued to its back, it glowered down at them all, the ugliest angel Harry had ever seen, with a large bald head like a potato and rather hairy feet.
------------------------------------------
"And the steam rising in characteristic spirals," said Hermione enthusiastically, "and it's supposed to smell differently to each of according to what attracts us, and I can smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and -"
But she turned slightly pink and did not complete the sentence.
------------------------------------------
"But you are normal!" said Harry fiercely. "You've just got a-a problem-"
Lupin burst out laughing. "Sometimes you remind me alot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit."
------------------------------------------
"Harry Potter!" bellowed Hagrid, slopping some of his fourteenth bucket of wine down his chin as he drained it.
"Yes, indeed," cried Slughorn a little thickly. "Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who - well - something of that sort," he mumbled, and drained his mug too.
------------------------------------------
Pointing his wand at nothing in particular, he gave it an upward flick and said Levicorpus! inside his head.
"Aaaaaaaargh!"
There was a flash of light and the room was full of voices: Everyone had woken up as Ron had let out a yell. Harry sent Advanced Potion-Making flying in panic; Ron was dangling upside down in midair as though an invisible hook had hoisted him up by the ankle.
"Sorry!" yelled Harry, as Dean and Seamus roared with laughter, and Neville picked himself up from the floor, having fallen out of bed. "Hang on- I'll let you down-"
He groped for the potion book and riffled through it in a panic, trying to find the right page; at last he located it and deciphered one cramped word underneath the spell: Praying that this was the counter-jinx, Harry thought Liberacorpus! with all his might.
There was another flash of light, and Ron fell in a heap onto his mattress.
"Sorry," repeated Harry weakly, while Dean and Seamus continued to roar with laughter.
"Tomorrow," said Ron in a muffled voice, "I'd rather you set the alarm clock."
------------------------------------------
"An Unbreakable Vow?" said Ron, looking stunned. "Nah, he can’t have.... Are you sure?"
"Yes I’m sure," said Harry. "Why, what does it mean?"
"Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow..."
"I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough."
------------------------------------------
"I thought you lived in that girls' bathroom?" said Harry, who had been careful to give the place a wide berth for some years now.
"I do," [Myrtle] said, with a sulky little shrug, "but that doesn't mean I can't visit other places. I came and saw you in your bath once, remember?"
"Vividly," said Harry.
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"Oh, there you are, Albus," he [Slughorn] said. "You've been a very long time. Upset stomach?"
"No, I was merely reading the Muggle magazines," said Dumbledore. "I do love knitting patterns."
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"Very well then," said Dumbledore, pushing open the broom-shed door and stepping out into the yard. "I see a light in the kitchen. Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are."
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"This is your copy of Advanced Potion-Making, is it, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry, still breathing hard.
"You're quite sure of that, are you, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry, with a touch of more defiance.
"This is the the copy of Advanced Potion-Making that you purchased from Flourish and Blotts?"
"Yes," said Harry firmly.
"Then why," asked Snape, "does it have the name 'Roonil Wazlib' written inside the front cover?"
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"When we were in Diagon Alley," Harry began, but Mr. Weasley forstalled him with a grimace.
"Am I about to discover where you, Ron, and Hermione disappeared to while you were supposed to be in the back room of Fred and George's shop?"
"How did you...?"
"Harry, please. You're talking to the man who raised Fred and George."
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He [Slughorn] seemed remarkably unabashed for a man who had just been discovered pretending to be an armchair.
------------------------------------------"
source: www.mugglenet.com
This is to help with further investigation in the horcrux category. 
source: www.mugglenet.com
None yet
source: mugglenet.com