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A scene in Half-Blood Prince retold from the point of view of Romilda Vane. Note: This story includes a lot of non-canon characters.There are tears in my eyes. I’m fully aware of it, and I know I can’t make a scene—not here on Platform 9 3⁄4 , the Hogwarts Express billowing steam into the sky above me. But I haven’t seen my dad for a whole year—until this morning of course. How can I say goodbye so soon? I sense the growing crowd around us, and hate it. All of it—the amazed stares, the awed whispers of “is that really Denarius Vane?”—every minute I spend with my dad is ruined by his adoring fans. I hazard a glance at him, and sure enough, his hand is reaching tentatively for his quill. I have never understood the appeal of signed photos. Pulling myself together, I speak more confidently than I feel. “Bye, dad.” He pats my shoulder in an offhand way, and I shove towards the train keeping my head held high. It isn’t hard to find my friends; they’re on the fringe of the autograph crowd, and call out to me in loud carrying voices. Janis even adds a “Hi, Denarius!” Ignoring my glare, she waves ostentatiously to him, and blushes when he flashes the award-winning grin. I sigh and scrape my silver sneaker on the ground. They were a birthday present, owl-ordered by dad. “Let’s go find a compartment, shall we?” says Amber. She’s watching me closely. “Did you read all that stuff about Harry Potter in the Daily Prophet?” “I don’t read the prophet.” Janis wrinkles her nose. “It’s so serious. But I heard about him on the Wizarding Wireless Network. That thing at the Ministry—it was just so heroic!” “I have a crush on Potter,” I say. “I always did. Well, not last year, but…” “I’m sure he’d go out with you!” Amber sighs wistfully. “I know,” says Janis. “You’re so pretty and popular!” Sometimes I wonder what they really think of me—what they would be saying if my dad wasn’t lead singer of the Chimaeras. Would they even be friends with me? We find Amy outside an empty compartment. She tosses her blonde ponytail. “Where were you all? I was looking for you!” Only I know that she charmed her hair to be that perfect color the summer before our first year. She’s actually a talented witch, but she does her best to hide it. She told me once that the sorting hat almost put her in Ravenclaw. I sniggered at the time—I would never confide in anyone how much trouble the hat had with me. I don’t belong in any house, but I begged it to be a Gryffindor. My dad was. “Did you see Potter?” says Amy. “He’s only like 5 or 6 compartments down from here!” “No, really?” “Who’s he with?” asks Janis. Amy giggles. “Loony Lovegood and that Longbottom idiot! Can you believe it?” “Let’s ask him to sit with us!” Janis looks at me. “What do you think Romilda?” “Ooh, yes!” Maybe if I hint that I like him, he could ask me out… He’d certainly choose me over my friends at any rate… And over Loony Lovegood… Could he still feel that he has to have such unpopular friends after the ordeal at the ministry? He could have any girlfriend he wants…even me—especially me—Denarius Vane’s daughter… “Let’s go then!” Amber smiles. I know she’s faking it—she realizes too that her chances of winning Potter are low while I’m around. We find his compartment; it isn’t close at all—Amy lied. Janis and Amber start shoving each other towards the glass door. “You do it!” “No, you!” We’re getting no where. Potter will think we’re silly and annoying—he already does; I can see his face through the glass window. Slapping Janis’ arm to shut her up, I step forward. “I’ll do it.” There’s a moment of silence, almost resentment, until they can force smiles back onto their faces. “Oh yes, you should do it Romilda!” I ignore them and open the door. “Hi Harry! I’m Romilda, Romilda Vane.” He seems unfazed. Could he have grown up without ever listening to the Chimaeras? “Why don’t you join us in our compartment?” I gesture to Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood. “You don’t have to sit with them.” Harry stares coldly up at me. “They’re friends of mine.” “Oh.” I hadn’t thought of that. “Okay.” I go back into the hallway; my friends have stopped giggling, but I catch something like a smug look on Amber’s face before she hides it behind a mask of false pity. Janis, who always moves between interests quickly, asks: “Did you have a good summer? Did you see your dad a lot?” I shake my head slightly, tossing my hair. “You are so lucky,” she sighs. But I know I’m not.
Voldemort: Harry Potter, I’m sooooooo going to, like, HURT you by putting my MAN EATING DESIGNER UNDERWEAR IN YOUR FACE.Harry: EEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!! HELP!!!! Mommmyyyy! ( puts thumb in mouth and cries)Ron: ( sings)Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!Harry: Oh Ron! You came to save me! You are my BFF!Ron: (singing) and I brought Hermione too! Hermione (very slowly) say-hello-to-HarryHermione: You smeeeeeellllllll like tuuuuuuuurd, ha ha ha ha (snort.)Harry: I don’t wanna fight Voldemort!(everybody gasps)Hermione: Duuuuuuuuude, don’t say the name.Harry: Voldemort.Hermione: AAAAAH!Harry: Voldemort.Hermione: stop it uuuuhhhhh!Harry:VOL-DE-MORT.Hermione: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude, don’t say the dang freakin’ NAME!Voldemort: Uh hellooooooo? Can we get back to meeeeeeee now? EEEEKK! I broke a toenail!Hermione: Duuuuuuuuuuude, that’s because your toenails are, like, loooong.new voice: Yo, sup my homies. Yo you people are late for transfiguratin class!Harry: McGonagall?McGonagall: Yo! I go by McG.Harry: WASSUP!McG: WASSUP!McG: Yo listen to my HOT new hit. ahem. YO! I TRANSFIGURATE STUFF! YO! I’M ALL IN A HUFF! YOUR MIND’S ‘BOUT TO BE BLASTED BY MY HOT NEW MUFF!Ron: (sings) what the bloody h*** is a muff?Voldemort: Oh McG You’re WONDERFUL!MgG: Yo get away from me PUNK!Voldemort: Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!Hagrid: Full monty, striiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. ( Hagrid does something very disturbing)Barty Crouch jr.: AAAAAAAAGGGGRRRRGHHGHGH! My eyes!Lucious Malfoy: You know, I don’t understand why we are called Death Eaters!Hermione: Why?Malfoy: Because, one day, a looooooooooooooooooong time ago, one of the dark-lords followers was starving and ate a dead body. Suddenly we’re all death eaters. I’m so mad!Harry: That’s funny.Hermione: bleh.Ron: That’s spaztic.Hermione: bleh.Barty Crouch jr.: It’s not funny.Hermione: bleh.Malfoy: shut up Hermione!Hermione: bleh.McG: BLEH YO MOMA!Voldemort: Hahahahaha! I’m going to kill you with my designer underwear now!!!Everybody: Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!Hagrid: I’ll save you harry! HIYA!(slaps voldemort and he goes flying into space)Voldemort: EEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Mommy !Everybody: Ding dong, old voldie’s dead...
